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Open Poetry #38
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jody5
Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876
California, U.S.A.

0 posted 2006-06-24 09:11 PM


The energy flow
has gone down
like the sunset
while the crickets
bark at dusk.

© Copyright 2006 Kimberly Benton - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2006-06-25 08:32 AM


Smiling at "crickets bark..."

Sweet little write.
TD

GTP
Junior Member
since 2006-06-18
Posts 35
NC...USA
2 posted 2006-06-25 08:44 AM


I love the picture you bestow Jody but would change it as so...you have 2 "the's" which are not needed!

The energy flow
has gone down
like sunset,
while crickets
bark at dusk.


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2006-06-25 09:15 AM


SweetKimberly~
This is marvelously done~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -       noles1@totcon.com     

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2006-06-25 09:19 AM


Perfect reflection of a sunset moment!

Love,
Margherita

jody5
Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876
California, U.S.A.
5 posted 2006-06-25 04:43 PM


ThisDiamond, Thank you for your Smile I wanted the crickets to bark not bite.  GTP,
Thank you for your constructive input, it is always valuable.  Sweet Marge,  I wrote this for you.  I love you.  Margherita,  Thank you as well for your comments they mean alot to me

Huggs to you all  


SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
6 posted 2006-06-25 06:39 PM


Very nicely done.
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
7 posted 2006-06-25 06:44 PM


Pesky little critters, huh?  I can feel the
drain...and fittingly, hear those little
buggers starting their chorus.

Poetic Concept
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66
God's Fingerprint
8 posted 2006-06-25 06:55 PM


The energy flow
has gone down
like the sunset
while the crickets
bark at dusk.


I think this is about a rebirth, like u have reached the peak of your life and the constant reminders of ageism has became so annoying like a "crickets bark", literally crickets can be annoying and a pest, but at the same time they could mean (metaphorically) as a kind tranqulity like when u go into the country and at night u hear the crickets the "comforting crickets" kind of takes u away to a wonderland, escaping reality for a breif momment, but now crickets small chirp (reminders of seniority) has became a pestering "bark". "dusk" can be death which is a rebirth another tranquil momment in life without having all the earthly worries that one has with age...anyways good write just my interpretation...keep writing elevation is the key

"How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live"
                     Anonymous (Unknown)

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2006-06-27 12:52 PM


Enjoyed the comparison, Jody.  *hugs*....jo
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2006-06-27 04:33 AM


enjoyed this
jody5
Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876
California, U.S.A.
11 posted 2006-06-28 01:46 AM


Thank All of you so very much for your appreciation of my Poetry.  I didn't know so many few words would bring so many responces.  God Bless you

Huggs to you all... Kimberly


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