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Open Poetry #38
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perfect stranger
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 54
on cloud 9

0 posted 2006-06-15 10:55 PM



i woke up in a trance not knowing where i was
what am i doing singing laughing i will have to pause
i closed my eyes i was in a plane going over the sea
everybody said whats going on i told them let me be
next thing what did i see jack in the box coming after me
humpty dumpty was next im going to fall of the wall and flatten you
what have i done next came shaggy and scooby doo
little bo peep came looking for her sheep
over there burried burried really deep
jingle bells jingle bells santas here glass of milk bit of shortbread oh a carrott for rudolph
tom tom the pipers son tried to catch ali bali ali bali bee he was sitting on his mammies knee
pied piper got rid of the rats he played music and made them flee
its now 3-49am im really tired got to be up for 9am going shopping with just my husband and me
up to glasgow [gallowgate]get the bus train
get our lunch a few drinks and go hame
then chucky doll will be waiting to get us,open the door go in quiet
dont be heard or there will be a riot.  


© Copyright 2006 perfect stranger - All Rights Reserved
poettothecars
Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093
New Zealand
1 posted 2006-06-16 08:16 PM


I like the idea behind this poem, while I could question the style and quality of the writing.

So I am trying to be kind, yet I feel this poem has room for improvement

The whole idea and the dream does paint a beautiful picture and the visions of this poem are great.

a poet who cares

perfect stranger
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 54
on cloud 9
2 posted 2006-06-25 04:59 PM


poettothecars i am glad to hear any remarks about my poems im not long started so im glad to hear all comments,thanks for looking at poem.
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