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Open Poetry #38
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Closing Time
| Open Poetry #38 |
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Closing Time |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Closing Time It’s too brown here, the tables stained in decades of spills and losses cleaned haphazard after closing time, and even the bulb in the lamp hung down too low to my face for comfort glows brown now from all the smokes, and I am the hole card in her night’s hand. She’s here again, waiting again, knowing again that when it’s over I will make the walk from this booth toward the door, give a resigned smile in her direction and she will come or not come as she chooses, judging the contents of my pockets against my other contents and my discontents. She is still beautiful in her way and never puts herself in my way, knows me intimate without intimacy and always the time of my timing. So I sit here in a kind of peace, matching the patterns of the days, knowing it is false but knowing too that I can last this way for a long time, and she can last forever if need be. There should be better in this for us, me vulnerably safe in the center booth where I paint my crosshairs onto life but never find the trigger in this brown inconstant constancy, while she watches over an emptying room from her corner, with the liquid crystal eyes of a sniper. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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StevenS Senior Member
since 2005-09-21
Posts 945L. A. (Lower Alabama) |
My favorite of yours Ratleader. Heart, soul, and the scent of stale beer. What more could we ask for? Great! :-) |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You capture both the setting and the players so vividly... reading this is like watching a movie where we leave feeling we know the characters personally... I can even hear the growl of Bogart's voice. *S* If I tried to choose favorite lines, I'd be copying the entire poem... but I have to say... that last one is just perfect. *S* Excellent write! *S* |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
RatMan~ The all of this is absolutely mesmerizing~ 'She is still beautiful in her way and never puts herself in my way, knows me intimate without intimacy and always the time of my timing.' You ink life so subtly for us ... what an immeasurable talent you are~ Your pennings often leave me gazing off into 'thinking space' after a read ... this one did that too~ I thank you for the gifts you share, most of all ... just for being a poet and friend~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You might say, when all else fails, try being who you are. In my case, that's a poet -- so here I am folks, warts and all! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed This is amazing...really!! The sensitivity within...showing the feelings with the imagery...first class writing!!! |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk |
So I sit here in a kind of peace, matching the patterns of the days, knowing it is false but knowing too that I can last this way for a long time, My favorite part, but like we all must know poetry is from the heart and soul and we all write no one is better than anyone else so don't look up on me look equally RedStone |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yes, that's absolutely true.... It was drummed into me by someone who wasn't a poet, but rather the man who taught me to really play chess. "Don't EVER say you're a better player than someone else," he'd say, "you may be stronger in some aspects of the game than he is at the time, but you are NOT better." That's one of the best life rules I have now. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Everybody seems to have summed it all up. This is top writing. Well done indeed. Cheers - Ed I'm not smart, I'm just a tricky dumb person. |
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