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Open Poetry #38
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Devious Intellectual
Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 112


0 posted 2006-06-04 12:06 PM


let me know if its good and lines you like..ill make a revision and make its all the same syllable count if its worth it..thanks

Bridges

As life moves and freezes we are constantly making decisions
Most choices are made and no room is left for revisions
In life we travel far and wide forever crossing bridges
Overcoming obstacles as one climbs over difficult ridges

Sometimes we cross and find a place full of comfort
Other instances we quickly cross back leaving some~hurt
Some mornings the gasoline odor is detected before realization
Bridges become burned as if there never existed a foundation

Life road's throws us twists, boulders, bridges, and hope
It's a tug of war, without hope we'd let go of the rope
Dreamers we are, our dreams lead us to lands distant far
I'm just a wanderer, traveling, still wishing on that star

© Copyright 2006 Paul - All Rights Reserved
Kimberly ann
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61

1 posted 2006-06-04 12:28 PM


i liked all of it you made really good points in this!! good job
Ella Blue
Junior Member
since 2006-05-26
Posts 47

2 posted 2006-06-04 02:05 AM


"As life moves and freezes we are constantly making decisions"...moves and freezes...I like this, and we DO have to make decisions, just like breathing we have no choice,because if not they will make us.
also, the idea that foundations built on sand rather then stone (or bridges)..are not of true hold-fast strength, like many of our decisions, relationships etc...I like
Keep on

Devious Intellectual
Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 112

3 posted 2006-06-04 02:05 PM


thanks...and the foundation comment def. a change that might make it better by refering to foundation built on sand....thank you all
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