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Open Poetry #38
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kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN

0 posted 2006-06-01 06:43 PM


I've sacrificed my bleeding arms
for productivity.
I've ripped the palm-skin from your Gods
to have it my own way,
and now I am lost
at a great cost.
Inside my World, there's suffering,
the villagers have guns.
A school is killed, way over yonder,
surrounding forests burn,
for there is wickedness
sitting in the hills of prospect.

© Copyright 2006 kif kif - All Rights Reserved
Liz Sinclair
Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 93
Atlantis
1 posted 2006-06-01 07:18 PM


A nice philosophical piece on the corruption of mankind.  As Lord Acton said, "Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely."  Thanks for sharing yourself.  Take care, Liz...Carpe Diem



When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better.
Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
...the immortal Mae West

kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN
2 posted 2006-06-02 02:03 AM


Absolutely, Liz Sinclair. Thanks for the comment.
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2006-06-02 06:36 AM


This grand piece must go back up to the top, for all to read, it is in my way of thinking, sad thoughts, reconciled to realize the life of things...very well done...and...thanks so much for taking the time to read my poem and comment so astutely.   Will be looking to read more of you!   Happy Friday!
Lee J.

Robert Edward Levin
Junior Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 45
can't remember. somewhere in midwest
4 posted 2006-06-02 10:55 AM


powerful piece of writing.  my favorite kind.

R~

www.robertedwardlevin.com

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2006-06-02 11:00 AM


kif kif
This is the why of my fire sticks. Enjoyed

kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN
6 posted 2006-06-02 12:08 PM


Thanks, LeeJ, Robert and Seymour. I feel quite honoured, as the standard of writing around here is high.

I'm glad you appreciate this, as it's one of the few I've written (I think) that succeeds in meaning something more than myself...although it did start out as a *'oh, poor me' scribble. The 1st 2 lines "I've sacrificed my bleeding arms for productivity" means instead of embracing what I had, I went searching for the produce(ok...I'm a dramatic sort!) This got me thinking that perhaps this is why the Universal Soul is missing (hopefully not lost) for humanity?

*Wherever possible, I try to work all my writing into exploring something more than my own personal emotions. I like to think of my emotions as the magnet to the precious mettle of ideas, pulling me. Sometimes I strike an old tin can, though, so give me a shout if I get blinded by fools gold!

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
7 posted 2006-06-02 01:17 PM


Very powerful....

Sometimes, we start out writing one type of poem, and it turns into something completely different, almost as if the poem is writing itself. Good work!

~sky

I hope someday you get the chance to live like you were dying....
~Tim McGraw

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
8 posted 2006-06-02 01:57 PM


very vivid and calling for quandry; makes me wonder what can be done;


miscellanea

kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN
9 posted 2006-06-02 05:40 PM


Thanks Skyshine, yes, it's how I always end up writing. I get an urge to say something, think I know what it is I'm saying, then, days later, have something written I'd never have imagined at the beginning. There's an artist, Tricky, who I saw interviewed. He said that, because his attention span was so weak, he wrote a few lines down, forgot about it, then wrote another few lines down, days later. mostly, the subjects were completely unrelated, yet with a bit of after-tweaking, he made some kind of freaky sense. When I heard that, I thought, yeah, I do that! The subjects may be unrelated, but the object is all one-whether it be days, weeks, even years, it should all add up.

Miscellania, thanks, too! That is the question. I'm not up myself enough to spit out a quick-fire answer.   I do think that the last lines "for there is wickedness, sitting in the hills of prospect" highlights what's wrong, and that's the first step, right?

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2006-06-02 08:57 PM


oh, I do like this
and embracing the sameness of every living being is the key
namaste, thank you for sharing this
and is kif kif an arabic word meaning "the same thing" it seems I heard it when living in the Middle East many many years ago (I lived with such a diverse group on a politically leftwing kibbutz in Israel, with people from around the globe, a rainbow of sorts)
kahakaha, la meme chose, comme ci comme ca or something like that...

kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN
11 posted 2006-06-03 06:06 AM


Thanks, Midnitesun. Yes, empathy's a good thing.

You're going to laugh...you asked where my name comes from. Your friends in the Middle-East...what was smokin' in their pipes?

Kif is a fine powder created from rubbing the THC crystals off a certain herb. I got the name from a Canadian Afrobeat Group, called 'Afrodizz'. They have a brilliant tune, called 'Kif Kif', 'you give and you give some water, but look out-too much will kill your flower...'

Also, in logic, KIF is an achronym for Knowledge Interchange Format-structured KIF, the notion of word is taken as primitive. An expression is either a word or a finite sequence of expressions.

You know it, though. you pick a name out one night, then you're stuck with it.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2006-06-03 07:37 AM


I'm at a loss for anything to say except what's already been said

very powerful indeed

BROTHER JOHN
Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 386

13 posted 2006-06-03 11:41 AM


Dear KIf KIf,

In a few words you have said volumes. Write on. BJ


D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
14 posted 2006-06-03 12:39 PM


I enjoyed this and my favorite part was:

"A school is killed, way over yonder,
surrounding forests burn,
for there is wickedness
sitting in the hills of prospect"

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
15 posted 2006-06-03 04:00 PM




I am glad LeeJ brought this back to the top. It is a soul piercing piece of work. Indeed there is wickedness...
"sitting in the hills of prospect"

kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN
16 posted 2006-06-03 06:05 PM


Ah, thanks passing shadows, BROTHER JOHN, D.Lester Young, and The Lady.

Mr. Young, the part you mention is a reference to The Children Of Beslan. Was that obvious?

There have been so many horrible things witnessed 3rd hand by us all, through the power of instant newscasting. Whether this is because the media is more prolific, or the horror is greater than before is irrelevant, as every time of horror must be remembered, lest we forget to care.

To me, watching the atrocity commited in that school was one of the worst moments of my life, yet the people of Beslan are still living through it, and will do until they die. The teacher is villified by her neighbours for not being able to save the children, and the guerilla groups are still a constant threat in the area.

How can we as a whole possibly feel spiritually full when that sort of terror is ongoing, still? We, humanity, so tainted.

[This message has been edited by kif kif (06-03-2006 08:05 PM).]

RyaNs TaLL
Junior Member
since 2006-07-05
Posts 17

17 posted 2006-07-14 09:57 PM


Hey this is a response to your critique

Actually it works perfectly homie listen im suggesting that the angel has not experienced the will of man because his/her life is perfect and completely sepperated from the human struggle they have not had to suffer like us or make the difficult choices that we are faced with everyday. Therefore the angel does not have will rather he has everything handed to him therefore will is not needed. I ask the angel if he has carried the worlds weight and answered the question and do not condridict my self rather i am making an observation that no he hasnt had to (figuratively speaking) carry the worlds weight because he sits comfortably on his cloud passing judgement without exploring the human perspective. it makes perfect since i think you misreaad or maybe interprited the, poem differently than i intended it you need to contemplate many different perspectives before passing judgement

Kristabell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 678
Portland, OR
18 posted 2006-07-14 10:34 PM


Ah yes, prospect. Very true, but prospect brings hope in its own way... Nice write.

Kristabell

"Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life."

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
19 posted 2006-07-19 08:56 AM


Interesting piece....much enjoyed.  

"Inside my World, there's suffering,
the villagers have guns.
A school is killed, way over yonder,
surrounding forests burn,
for there is wickedness
sitting in the hills of prospect."

Great read for the early morning!!!!

Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Andre Brink


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

20 posted 2006-07-19 09:42 AM


had to come back for another read on this, as it speaks volumns and brings it closer to home, as it should be...thank you for writing.  

(I think) that succeeds in meaning something more than myself...although it did start out as a *'oh, poor me' scribble. The 1st 2 lines "I've sacrificed my bleeding arms for productivity" means instead of embracing what I had, I went searching for the produce(ok...I'm a dramatic sort!) This got me thinking that perhaps this is why the Universal Soul is missing (hopefully not lost) for humanity?

If it makes any difference, I don't always read poems as being and oh poor me scribble, but a very welcomed voice speaking for humanity...which to me is very very significant and needed.

but, thats just me...



kif kif
Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439
BCN
21 posted 2006-07-19 09:57 AM


Kristabelle, thanks, an interesting and thoughtful point. The question "what are the prospects" isn't always bad; in fact, it can save lives. Stephano brings up an interesting point on the dark v light thread in philosophy that 'badness' is just the shadow of 'goodness' (I'm paraphrasing, sorry). Prospect is good when it's the prospect for all, not when it's the personal prospect at the expense of others.

Justbleu...I'm guessing you're choice of morning reading's not the daily rag! Thanks for your comments.

Ryan'sTall? I did see your riposte, on the appropriate thread, "An Angels Acumen", in Critical Analysis. I actually replied, giving you my opinion on your poem...it would've been nice if you had done the same, but oye, no pasa nada.

LeeJ, thanks again. You should know how I feel about your writing, I feel very honoured that you appreciate this. Plus, I think you'll agree, there's nothing wrong with a 'oh, poor me' scribble if it has movement. After all, it's a universal emotion.

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