Poetry of sorts - comments on a first attempt to get published

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Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

0 posted 2006-05-31 05:20 PM

I know I have taken out the sites to write but I prefer to stay in IT.

Everything to produce the words I built on my own cost, QT

Letter to my first attempt to publish in UK

I will follow the agenda and what was

To my Decay

Poem at the bottom

Dave

And Bloody Heroes Too

This is not an anti-war poem, it’s about the thin gap between cowardice and courage.   Hiding to avoid being killed yet then having to face that his comrades had died and he was going to stay and fight and knowing he wouldn’t leave alive, cursing those who had placed him in this position.

The Leaf

This was written watching a cold wet, windy day blowing everything about.

When Tiredness Is Your Master

I wrote about being almost on your knees but afraid to say ‘stop I’ve had enough’.

A Women Watches

This was a woman with a very successful career trying to come to terms with the guilt of a break-up whilst she tried to make a new life.

Of Another Summer’s Morn

This was inspired by the beauty of the dawn and love of a woman.

Ice Maiden

A Swedish women inspired this, it seemed to typify her.

Dawn

Dawn raises new hopes but also the guilt of facing the next day.    This was written after seeing another beautiful dawn on a Sunday with all the promise of a new day and listening to Johnny Cash singing a song written by Kris Kristofferson “Sunday Morning Coming Down”.

But No Sweet Love I Can See Tonight

On “The Open Scroll”, I post my poems in an area called Poetry Tag where anyone can add what they want to them and I do the same.   I wrote a verse against a poem and found I had actually written a complete poem.   It is probably old style romantic poetry but I felt good writing it.

Chin Wagers Son

This is written about Computer Consultants and their beliefs about themselves.

Light Electric You Give Me Shivers

This was to be a poem about love when there is nothing else.   I found myself concentrating on the personalities and their relationship and the background disappeared.

The One Arm Bandit

This is based on the words of Tom Traubert’s Blues.   It is a favourite song of mine and I wanted to try and interpret it.

You Kissed Me On My Knees

This was added to someone else’s poem on Poetry Tag but was written about a girl friend some twenty five years ago, and I wont say any more about it.

Your Eyes Have a Beauty That Was Sculptured From The Deep

This came from two different areas.   One was a comment that the Best Man was there to marry the Bride if the Groom did not turn up and the other was from staying in the “Prince of Wales” Suite.

The idea of the Best Man loosing the girl he’d found again to his best friend drew itself into the Suite.

And Who Told You This Was Hell

Someone who didn’t give a damn and would gamble until the ends of the world.

I'll print Bloody Heroes as the first from 1999

My face is in the earth
My feet are digging to
The sky is flashing light
My stomache flashes too
Nobody else is left
I should have gone with them
But when they went to advance
I hid behind my tomb

Now no-one has come back
But I hear the marching feet
I look at the steel at night
Can someone beat retreat

I wait for that death
Dishonourable I know
It doesn't matter how you die
It just matters how you go

I have no qualms for my coward's life
I've lived it all I could
I didn't wish to be here
I don't want to be good

I started at the bottom
With the heroes right on top
But when the killing came
They all felt they should stop

So they send us out poor souls
With all their fancy words
And told us we were heroes
And we would get what we deserved

Now we are all dead
They still breed anew
And raise their glasses up to us
And bloody heroes too.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2006-05-31 06:23 PM

"So they send us out poor souls
With all their fancy words
And told us we were heroes
And we would get what we deserved"

Maybe we really do?
But I'll wait on Paradise to check.
Enjoyed your write.

JL

Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

2 posted 2006-05-31 06:51 PM

Thanks JL

Maybe I will get down to writing

Dave

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

3 posted 2006-06-01 08:12 AM

Good Morning Dave,
I agree with what JL said in her comment.
Your an amazing writer,a wonderful friend, I do so much enjoy reading your words of art.

:-)

Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace."

Albert Schweitzer,
Nobel Peace Prize Wi

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2006-06-01 08:29 AM

Bodger
No one really know what they will do until it happens. Enjoyed the read

[This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (06-01-2006 09:02 AM).]

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