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Open Poetry #38
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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2006-05-24 09:14 PM



For my Grandma, Phyllis Long...

Gravedigger


No, I can't leave the past
well enough alone
remembering how
you made me feel alive
not so long ago.

But, you're dead now
so why should I care
there's no point in moving on
to breathe the potential
of things I could have been.

Nothing could have prepared me
for the agony of losing you.

I swear that I was the one
who died that day
and memories still wound
the dirt you rot beneath;
I force myself there
clawing my way through
the maggots, decay
too stubborn to see
you have peace now
selfish I, slice my skin the torture.

The copycat sky competed
as I watched the gravediggers
through storm eyes
lowering you into the ground
s  l  o  w
as if to tempt me
to reach out and save you.
Defiant I, held the makeshift shovel
ready to dig you back up
Holden Caulfield me
unable to accept what is.

Diabetes and cancer
best beware
there are no words
of apology, redemption
they'd feel this hate in me
surrender helpless to my wrath.
This pain so raw, so fierce
I'd cut their hearts out
like a bruised piece of apple.
God dare not stop me
forgiveness is never.

Look what I've become
a stranger in this flesh
knowing that you cannot
look down with pride.
I used to be your sweet little girl
I used to be the overachiever, strong
but I am broken,
I have given up
suffocation I, am the depths of this emotional vomit.

You'll be 'happy' again they claim
but, that word is a profanity now.
She's an angel they say
smiles arrogant, careless comfort
disrespectful to think
that life goes on.
Though this self-inflicted hell
digs her up over and over again
and she's rolling around
in the grave
of my mind.

Melissa Long-Monette


Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

© Copyright 2006 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2006-05-24 09:45 PM


Powerful, emotional words Melissa...the
death of one we hold in such high regard
is a most bitter thing.

scyzoryk_o4
Junior Member
since 2006-05-23
Posts 36
Canada and Poland
2 posted 2006-05-24 09:55 PM


Well this is the second of your poems I’ve read and I have to admit you are great. It seems to me as if through poetry you express your anger which makes your poems powerful. Hope to read more of your poems in the future.

Maksym

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2006-05-24 10:08 PM


wow
Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

4 posted 2006-05-25 05:32 AM


The sheer pain wracked emotion in this seeps from the screen and tears roll from the words...a great and brutally honest poem...of respect..of loss..of love...thank you for bearing your soul..

Goldenrose.

''As the deer pants for steams of water, so my soul pants for you O God''
Psalm 42:1

playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
5 posted 2006-05-25 06:16 AM


"You'll be 'happy' again they claim
but, that word is a profanity now."

Oh, what a write. I recently lost both my grandparents within 2 months of each other, and a lot of people say they are happy now, together again. Not that I am comparing - to each their own pain of loss - and I certainly felt the loss in this. Such a wonderfullly written piece.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2006-05-27 08:55 PM


Oh my. A 'Phoebe' spirit, you are.
I am feeling your loss, through these words.
When I first joined Pips, I remember reading you, and hoping that someday...I might write something with grace, style AND emotional fervor..the way this lady Honeybee writes.
You never disappoint this reader.

lost4dm
New Member
since 2006-05-28
Posts 6
Louisiana, USA
7 posted 2006-05-28 09:54 AM


Oh, how I felt your pain when I read this. I won't forget this one.
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
8 posted 2006-05-28 10:40 AM


Having just written about grief I can well relate to your poem but find I'm somewhat speechless.  Will a "Wow!" be enough?  No?  Okay - here's another - "Wow!".  
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2006-05-28 03:51 PM


indeed powerful Melissa, I know the heartache well....

And so it those we live with
and should know who elude us
But we can still love them
we can love completely
without complete understanding

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