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Open Poetry #38
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Jack Straw
Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70


0 posted 2006-05-24 06:17 PM


Entering the local bar of Nether Stowey
Wondering where my Father could be
It was a half hour past
The time I was meeting him

An old beggar caught my eye
As he was finishing his brandy
He got up with a belch
Leaning heavily on his cane

His face told a story in itself
His eyes held the climax
Leaving me speechless
Although my thoughts raced

“Little one, have you lost your way?”
He spoke in an otherworldly whisper
“No sir, I’m waiting for my father.”
I struggled to confidently say.

“Fair enough, good day to you.”
Bidding me farewell
Wrapping his coat around himself
Preparing for winter’s bitter cold

Just as he was leaving
I could not resist the urge
To call out “Where are you going?”
Something about his manner intrigued me
I wanted to learn

Calmly turning around
He had a grin about his face
Waiting for me to ask something
About the world, in which he adores.

I started with
“What is your name?”
“Call me what you will
except a liar”

Puzzled, I tried again
“Where do you come from, old man?”
“Just over the brook, across the bridge
inside the forest you may see me sit.
In quiet seclusion you’ll see me roam
I hail from nowhere and everywhere”

“Right….” I said and continued on
thinking our exchange over and done
until I heard “Why, little one?
What place do you call home?”

“London, I’m with my father,
He should be here with my aunt
She lives in this county of Somerset”
Again I tried  “You do too?”

“I live only in my body little one,
I hope by the time you grow to be my age
You’ll have learned the same,
But to digress,
What do you think of London’s great mess?”

“Why, I love London, mysterious one
I love all the streets and shops among
The businessmen making a living”
What’s not to like about a city so grand
I thought

Seeming to have read my thoughts he replied,
“How about the smoke rising into the sky,
Including that of factories and cars
How about the men who work tirelessly
For things they care not of
And for companies who care not for them.
You’ll see in time little one.”

Just then my father burst in
Smelling of liquor and cheap women
Saying “John! Get away from him!
You don’t know who he is!”

My newfound friend looked kind of sad
But not quite disappointed
He simply tipped his hat
And bid us farewell

“Good day to you
and your son, kind sir”
I sent him a message without words
One through my eyes, that I understood
He simply smiled in recognition

Outside the bar my father said
“Let’s go, auntie’s waiting
It’s beginning to snow.”

The last I saw of that profound vagrant
He was walking across the bridge
To his home in the forest
Shaking my head, wondering his story
I took my father’s hand and drifted off
Feeling quite mystical
for the remainder of the evening

Twenty years later
I, now in my 30s
And locked in an office
My work consumes me

Feeling simply morose
Day in and day out
Doing nothing for pleasure
Only for wealth,

When one lucky day
On my stoop a package showed
Addressed to me
From someone unknown

Opening it up
I was taken aback
Scratching my head
Starting to laugh

“Well I’ll be damned..”
I said aloud
My cat alone heard
Along with my work

It seems I was included
In some wanderer’s will
And given a house
Deep in forgotten hills

Along with a key
There was a message attached
Starting off “John, no need to write back…

For I have died but not forgotten you,
Tired of London yet?
I surely was too.
Roam forevermore in the countryside
Head past that creek
In Somerset to find
Simple content among the trees
Idleness not found in the great city
That last look you gave me,
Though you may not have realized
Held an envy so deep, for my free life

Like William before me
And I before you
Go to my home
To find your own muse

find a peace so deep
and a love so true
Alphoxden Manor
I give to you.”

© Copyright 2006 Jack Straw - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2006-05-24 06:30 PM


oh man, am I keeping this
tucked away
in my own private forest
of favorites

PS smiling, knowing it was Alfoxden...where William Wordsworth and sister Dorothy lived.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2006-05-24 06:45 PM


You are a wonderful storyteller!!!
THIS is a keeper for my library.
I'm still sitting here shaking my head in awe.
Well done Sir..very well done indeed.
Hugs~Nancy

*Note to Kacy*
Right!  It was Alfoxden Manor.


~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
3 posted 2006-05-24 10:45 PM


Though my attention span is short these days, this captured me and I had to read all the way through. Well written - I enjoyed it very much

You can never win or lose
If you don't
Run the race

Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way

Jack Straw
Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70

4 posted 2006-05-25 08:24 AM


thanks for the comments midnite, Enchantress, and tracey, I appreciate them.  But I'm not through with this one... it needs to be deeper, more profound, and written in a metrical form.  thanks for the replies though, I value your insights =)
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2006-05-25 02:14 PM


Then I'll hold off on any additional kudos 'till its done
I'm looking forward to the more finely tuned version.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2006-05-25 05:07 PM


Captivating!  It opened up a treasure chest of misted memories for me.

- Owl

Jack Straw
Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70

7 posted 2006-05-25 05:51 PM


it may be awhile midnitesun... I just PMed a fellow poet on another website with the poem asking for his harshest critique.. it'll be a couple days before he replies and then I'm going to wait on a couple more comments on another site then when I feel the spark again I'll rewrite it, perhaps incorporating a more structured rhythm/meter

owl thanks for your comment, I'm glad it worked for you.  happy thursday all

[This message has been edited by Jack Straw (05-25-2006 07:07 PM).]

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