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Open Poetry #38
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ailei
New Member
since 2006-05-23
Posts 3


0 posted 2006-05-24 12:00 PM



Love is strange...
strong and passionate affection felt by someone's heart,
uncontrollable even by oneself.
The sudden change of emotion, thrive bit by bit,
combination of tiny molecules formed the pureness of itself.
Unpredictable but amazing!
The thunder clap of heart, rumbling.
The shocking lightning of nerve, come rush,
prepared and willing to accept,
conquered everything around.
Have guts and power to move,
prove every details of a heart picture.
The typhoon goes on, flood rises up,
Love stands consistent and firm in every hardships of life.
And the colorful rainbow proves:
"Love has no end at all" and
" It's still undefeatble".


Copyright(c) Elaine Torrefiel Sy

© Copyright 2006 ailei - All Rights Reserved
Will Rhyme
Member
since 2006-05-22
Posts 149

1 posted 2006-05-24 12:03 PM


Good work!

Will

scyzoryk_o4
Junior Member
since 2006-05-23
Posts 36
Canada and Poland
2 posted 2006-05-24 12:24 PM


hey
I enjoyed reading your poem and definitely agree with you about how powerful/ unpredictable love is. The only criticism I can make is: the poem sounds too technical for the topic "combination of tiny molecules formed the pureness of itself." I don’t think that fits in with the purpose of the poem. But that is just my opinion and I’m no expert. Otherwise sounds good.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2006-05-24 06:32 AM


well done poem! Love the ending too!
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2006-05-24 06:45 AM


Love stands consistent and firm in every hardships of life.
And the colorful rainbow proves:
"Love has no end at all" and
" It's still undefeatble".


Amen and absolutely...

enjoyed this

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