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Open Poetry #37
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bens101
Junior Member
since 2006-05-05
Posts 32


0 posted 2006-05-20 12:18 PM



  From the first day I saw you
  I have looked up to you
  watched the beautiful things that you do
  like making me learn
  that my best friend was an sent from heaven.


  When you danced with me
  I felt dizzy
  and it was incredible
  that I held your attention
  and it was focused just on me.


  It was raining bad out
  but I saved you at the last second
  as water wanted to sweep you up
  take you far away
  and destroy your wonderfull life.


  I want to take the time
  and say what's on my mind
  because I want you to know
  that I might be gone tommorrow
  so thank you for being born.

  Benjamin Prins  2006.

© Copyright 2006 bens101 - All Rights Reserved
Poesia
New Member
since 2006-05-25
Posts 1

1 posted 2006-05-26 05:24 PM


I like the poem, you could have taken a bit more time to edit and and make sure it's structue has a strong foundation, but over all, i like it.
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