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Open Poetry #37
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Lord, am I your child
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Lord, am I your child |
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shirtless Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 359
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Lord, am I your child? then bathe me in a flood, instruct me with lightning, age me with your presence; scare the sh*t out of me; for I have not knelt in twenty years, and then it was to a woman. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Anthony Armstrong - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skippyrick Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 150Rohnert Park |
Hi: Eather use the word or dont. Maybe use crap or bejesus. I like this small poem. Thanks rick |
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shirtless Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 359 |
It wouldn't post using the word. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Powerful poem and that last line is a beauty! |
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picturegramic Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 112 |
Deep thinking thoughts. Your use of short lines with deep meaning continues to amaze me. Thanks for sharing this one. picturegramic |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
God is love - women are love - and so your kneeling was not in vain.  But, yes, you give voice to many who think and ask the same. Well said! |
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
unfortunately for most of us it takes just that to bring us to enough humility to look *up* re the bleeped word, I don't think the use of it adds anything to the power of the poem... |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Anthony~ Powerful, intense, raw, yet beautiful at the end....Shaking my head here in awe - I've read a few poems of yours tonight and there's no doubt that you have a natural talent with a unique expression and style. However, I must agree with another comment posted here: "re the bleeped word, I don't think the use of it adds anything to the power of the poem." **I don't get offended easily, and sporatically I feel that swear words or powerhouse phrases do add to the shock value and power of a poem, but in this case, your use of "sh*t" doesn't work at all - sorry. I can't tell you how to write YOUR thoughts, ultimately this is YOUR poem, but, honestly, perhaps you should consider re-writing that line.....instead of "scare the Sh*t out of me" use - "Terrify me", etc... Regardless of that minor flaw, this poem works and it is both ugly in it's emote and beautiful in it's truth/confession....impressive Melissa~ Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...you didn't mention pain...or perhaps you did...James |
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