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Open Poetry #37
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bens101
Junior Member
since 2006-05-05
Posts 32


0 posted 2006-05-10 04:26 PM





I'm falling apart
it feels as if
someone has ripped my soul
from the walls of my body
and left me to stand outside cold.


It's just wrong
I can never do anything right
my friends hate me
I think I'll crawl into a ball
and end my life.


Just to escape
is to paint the world
and smile whenever you can
banishing darkness
from overcoming light again.


Ask yourself why
deep wisthin
what drives you to keep going
because there are things
that you might want to experience.

  Benjamin Prins  2006.



© Copyright 2006 bens101 - All Rights Reserved
Devious Intellectual
Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 112

1 posted 2006-05-10 04:31 PM


you got this poem to emit the emotion that you wanted..the 2nd half was better than the first half imo...maybe play with some different words but overall i can see where you are coming from...just get more creative with it...nice read thanks for posting...

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