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Open Poetry #37
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2006-05-08 11:59 PM



Changing


underneath all my unworthiness
you understood my dream of life at best
and all the pain not in my head
bled in a heart that dripped quite red
a new life starts another gone
an ugly duckling soon becomes a swan
inside of me is so much more
behind the painful smile I wore
tears are the skin of oceans wide
joy and pain both ride this tide
despair is a word silently said
when who you are is misread
reaching deep to soothe my fear
I, the caterpillar inch to flight now near
stars hold dreams never to be true
this one I touch because of you

just some words cut out
from the diary of my heart



© Copyright 2006 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2006-05-09 01:09 AM


behind the painful smile I wore
tears are the skin of oceans wide
joy and pain both ride this tide
despair is a word silently said
when who you are is misread

Awww, you do write with the finest touch..
tis beautiful, this~~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2006-05-09 08:59 AM


A very sweet purge of love and affection.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
3 posted 2006-05-09 09:39 AM


Alot of rhyming going on in this poem i don't really like those sorts of poetry but heres the line i like

the caterpillar inch to flight now near

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2006-05-09 03:32 PM



Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
5 posted 2006-05-09 07:55 PM


Helen~

In response to the other response - I personally like the rhyme, it's almost perfect in meter - just a bit of tweeking will fix this.  BUT, as usual, you write with such grace, uniqueness and depth so consisely.  Excellent images and themes - I relate and especially LOVE:

"I, the caterpillar inch to flight now near
stars hold dreams never to be true
this one I touch because of you"

Wow, what a vision...This is a keeper

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

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