THE TREASURE TROVE - pipTalk Forums

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BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

0 posted 2006-05-01 03:19 PM

Thanks for taking your time to read this. I welcome your constructive remarks on how to improve this.

THE TREASURE TROVE

A treasure trove resides in earthen clay
Amid one's depths.It quietly abides
Unseen and owns rights to potential tides
And subtly tenders its long resume!
This trove awaits, tho, your will to obey
Since these potentials harnessed not by chides
Nor wishful thinking.Only thru strong strides
Of self, each trove's unearthed, not thru mere play!

Forget the fairy tales of sesame
And magical words and a canned address
On cunning tricks with a forged guarantee!

This treasure's opened thru self test and stress
And one's best.Only you're the sole trustee
Of treasures locked within and its key's yes!!

mariae
Member

since 2006-04-24

Posts 54
Denmark, Europe

1 posted 2006-05-01 04:21 PM

Hi Brother John
I'm sorry, but my english really isn't good enough to understand every word in your poem, but I liked what I could translate :-)
Maria

-In a world of thoughts-

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2006-05-01 04:35 PM

"Yes!"

EA

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2006-05-01 04:48 PM

Oh my YES!! Very much enjoyed.
This piece is indeed a treasure.
Hugs~Nancy

~ Trace my body with your words,
in doing so, you touch my heart ~

El_Campeador
Senior Member

since 2003-01-29

Posts 761
Ohio, USA

4 posted 2006-05-01 04:57 PM

Great poem, brother John. You write good sonnets!

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

5 posted 2006-05-01 05:01 PM

Brother John...this is a fine poem...though i think the words ''tho'' and ''thru'' seem vulgar..and not correct...even for olde english words...

Also if i may make the suggestion of not putting your titles and name in capital letters..in netiquette using capitals is SHOUTING!!!...so unless you want people to think you would like your titles shouted...you might like to alter that..thank you for your fine words..

Goldenrose.

''As the deer pants for steams of water, so my soul pants for you O God''
Psalm 42:1

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

6 posted 2006-05-01 05:06 PM

Dear Mariea,

Thanks for your response. I noted that we both joined this family about the same time.
I just realized you reside in Denmark. This is truly an international family. Your words,too, ring true:

You get older

everyday
every month
every year

You get wiser

every smile
every laugh
every tear

I believe the tears have taught me more,

Blessings on you!!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2006-05-01 05:40 PM

I am always fascinated by the format. I couldn't write this way if someone paid me to.

wonderful piece

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

8 posted 2006-05-01 05:51 PM

Dear Earth Angel,

Since my first post, you have been so supportive of me. You are what angels are all about. I like the way you replied to me.
I wish I had this kind of know how. I know very little about the computer and all the frills that go with it. Thanks again.

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

9 posted 2006-05-01 05:54 PM

Dear Enchantress,

You have been so thoughtful to stop and read this poem. I see your footprints gracing so many on this site. You truly care!

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

10 posted 2006-05-01 06:00 PM

Dear El,

You have taken valuable time to read several of my poems. I thank you very much for your time and comments. I like the quote at the bottom of your replies. Yes, we are fellow travelers and it is so reassuring to be traveling with friends.

Blessings on you!

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

11 posted 2006-05-01 06:14 PM

Dear Goldenrose,

You are so kind to take valuable time to read and respond to my writing. You are doing exactly what I requested. I am 73 and in my retirement I started to do some writing in poetry. I decided on the sonnet form basically because it seemed to fit me and what I wanted to say. I need a lot of guidance in my new adventure and it is friends like you who can give me with constructive advice. I am ever a student and never the master. I will humbly sit under those who understand poetry more than I do. I will gladly try to make the corrections you called to my attention. Too, continue to be very honest with me for I will be better for it. Your Bible verse at the bottom of your reply is one of my favorite ones. Blessings of our God of grace be continued upon you!

BROTHER JOHN
Member

since 2006-04-06

Posts 386

12 posted 2006-05-01 06:24 PM

Dear Passing Shadows,

I am blessed that your shadow has come my way once more. Thank you for your comments. In my retirement, I decided I would not die doing nothing. I studied some forms of poetry and in the end the yoke of the sonnet seemed to wear easy with me. I am still learning and enjoy trying. It is friends in this family of PIP that have become sources of inspiration from their writings but more so in their personal comments. Blessings on you. I was born in Tampa,Fla. Most of my life has been spent in Georgia.

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