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Open Poetry #37
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THE VALENTINE I NEVER GAVE YOU
| Open Poetry #37 |
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THE VALENTINE I NEVER GAVE YOU |
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shirtless Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 359
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THE VALENTINE I NEVER GAVE YOU I know that love and freedom are merely grains of sand upon a beach that is a fingerprint of land that has been swallowed by an ocean that is mist within a sky that could not fill a lung still, I love you and you taste like freedom |
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| © Copyright 2006 Anthony Armstrong - All Rights Reserved | |||
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shmity72 Junior Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 26wa usa |
it doesn't rhyme much. but i like it none the less. makes me feel fuzy. slaves 'oft love their masters. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Oooh, I love this! Again superbly structured, and I love the path on which it took my thoughts. I love poems like this - written with lateral thought, but so very logically sound. Magnificent! Incidentally, I don't much like rhyme, unless it is from a century or so back, or it adds to the quality of the poem for whatever reason. - Owl |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
May I stick my nose in where it doesn't belong? I suggest that you give her the valentine now, no matter how late. I can't imagine it not working. Just a minor criticism in the title. The word "never" is used incorrectly. It should be "The Valentine I Didn't Give You", but take no notice of me if that offends you. It's great just as it is. - Owl |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
welcome to the passion the form you write in is very much like my own |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Welcome to Pip! I really like your style and look forward to reading more! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions~ I am enjoying very much your work thus far. ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words, |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Nicely done. I like free verse myself, and this is very easy to read with a beautiful thought. Welcome to our world! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"still, I love you and you taste like freedom" Now that's pretty!  |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
It's never to late late to say I Love You. Even when that person can no longer hear. Hugs BonBon  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
cool ending line welcome to Passions! |
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