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Open Poetry #37
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Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2006-04-29 06:35 PM



loniless that takes
me to an unmarked
grave settle my soul
is what they all will
say

the right one will come
along for you so don't be
so down,don't be so blue

for you won't be alone
forever more,no a person
like you is a special gift
that shant be used or torn

as i listen to the sweet
delusion words i feed my brain
to get me by i scrunch up on the
bed and begin to cry

© Copyright 2006 Julie O'Neill - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2006-04-29 07:29 PM


This is very sad and the descriptors you use give it a childlike quality. I like the images but found the lack of capitals and the irregular spacing slowed my reading. It's worth another look though if you decide to edit.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2006-04-29 07:32 PM


I understand so well


Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
3 posted 2006-04-29 07:55 PM


thank you yes it does need some editing i just have the habit of typing then pressing enter it destroys my flow. but i gotta remeber to go bac k and adjust things. spelling is my downfall
BROTHER JOHN
Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 386

4 posted 2006-04-29 08:25 PM


Dear Foxy,

I believe your lack of correct punctuatiion and etc is part of your cry.  I hear you.


Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
5 posted 2006-04-29 09:06 PM


thank you
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