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Open Poetry #37
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I'm Sorry, Mama
| Open Poetry #37 |
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I'm Sorry, Mama |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia 
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It's been twenty two years since you passed from view. Except within my dreams. Day before yesterday was Mother's Day I read many beautiful poems. Wonderful tributes. Twenty two years have passed since I last spoke to you. Except in my dreams. I know I don't need to seek your forgiveness. But, I must tell you I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mama ! I was the Wild One. That's just how I was. I make no apologies for that. I know I gave you many long nights Staying awake in worry. Many fretful days. That's just how I was. How I've always been. I wander off. I ramble. I remember even as a small child... not yet school age... All the times you searched for me. Fearful Frantic Amazed at how quickly I could disappear. I knew how to hide, Mama. I knew how to cling to the shadows. How to go "unseen" I still do. It's just the way I am. I remember When neighbors, miles away, would catch a glimpse of me... corner me... "Whats your name?" Yawwy What? Yawwy Yawwy Yeake I needed alot of work on my Ls and Rs But finally they figured out the last name... And Daddy was pretty well known. They would call you to come get me. As I grew... It got worse. I know I must have drove you crazy in my restless teenage years. I can't apologize for any of that. It's just how and who I was. And I know... That you know that. But... I'm sorry Mama I'm sorry that I didn't do anything as you lay there dying. I heard you gasping for air... I came... I saw you... Eyes rolled up... Tongue hanging out... I tried to bring you out of it. As I had...with your other diabetic seizures. But you didn't come out of it. I held you in my arms I felt your final exhale You never inhaled again Little Shirley called the Rescue Squad I held you... and waited... I thought about mouth-to-mouth. CPR I had never done it I wanted to. I wanted to, Mama ! I didn't want to hurt you Mama ! I was scared I would make it worse ! Yes, I was a grown man by then.... But.... I was scared... Then... I saw your eyes glaze over. I kissed you Mama I told you that I loved you. I hope you heard me. I'm sorry Mommy ! I was scared ! I know you don't hold it against me. I'm not seeking forgiveness. I know I don't need to. I just wanted to say... I'm sorry, Mama ! I was scared ! I'm so sorry I was scared ! |
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| © Copyright 2006 Larry F. Leake - All Rights Reserved | |||
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Powerful. Look for a sign that she knows. There is no doubt. Twenty years is a long time; time for you to breath again. |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
Thank you. I don't really consider it "poetry" but it was something I needed to write, needed to say. As simple as it appears...it was enough to bring about a great downpour. I needed that. I am honored that you chose to pass this way and blessed that you left me a sign of your passing. Thank you sir. :: bows :: |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Oh Uriah. That was so sad. icebox suggested you look for a sign. He's right. There is a sign and every mother has it. I will tell it to you. There is nothing in this world a child can do that will make a mother so angry or hurt that she will not forgive him. Your mother forgave you the moment she saw your face. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Because you are her beloved son, and she knew you well, understand that you need no forgiving from her. It was already taken care of within her heart. Any thing you might have done or not done throughout your life was noted and duly forgotten. sincerely, from a mother who knows (three sons and three daughters)..martyjo |
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BROTHER JOHN Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 386 |
Dear Uriah, In your simple way, you have brought back to me memories. Thank you. Write on. |
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picturegramic Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 112 |
A mother's love is unconditional. A mother looks on...with love! thanks for sharing, picturegramic |
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