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Open Poetry #37
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aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-04-23 11:18 PM


With in thy eyes thy cant describe
Thy feeling that will never die
Sorrow grows where hope once flowed
Pain of thee with misery to be
Sadness crashing tears come free
Faith let go lost from the unknown

Oh thy darkness that surrounds thee
Let thy hatred free so thy may see serenity
So bitter sweet thy test for revenge thy wishes to take
No hope nor great relief comes to thy
Seeing thee dismayed falling in thy sea of despair
No punishment to thee will take thy feelings away
Only pain remands where thee has touched thy soul
Nothing will change thy feelings will remain



There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it
behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us.
*Robert S

[This message has been edited by aliway (04-24-2006 07:36 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 Leah S. - All Rights Reserved
aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes
1 posted 2006-04-25 11:49 PM


I know its not the best but I hoped that you guys could help me out to make it one of them. any comments will be great.

*leah
  

Internalexile
Junior Member
since 2006-06-15
Posts 38
UK
2 posted 2006-06-18 05:30 AM


I liked it, lots of thee's :P but yeah the listing of emotions in the first stanza was v good!

Internalexile

Let the moonlight paint your face, let the stars be your cloak...

Frank W. Torres
Member
since 2006-06-10
Posts 133

3 posted 2006-06-18 09:28 AM


Nice poem. Sometime change is hard to come by.
aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes
4 posted 2006-06-18 09:15 PM


Thanks you for the replies, they where very nice and yeah there’s a lot of thee's in it. The first part of it is my favorite.  
Thank you agene for the replying

*Leah

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