I wrote the drunk maybe I need to revisit

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Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

0 posted 2006-04-23 03:10 PM

The Drunk

Imagining he hold's the world is his hand but forgets to close the hand that feeds him
Imagining every word is prose not rubbish
Seeing the world through nothing
Sorry for himself
Achieving oblivion
Squandering any gifts
For the tears he shed's too easily
For his dreams that he fear's might happen
Sobbing is his beer
For everyone else's mistakes
His glorious ideas
That might be achieved
He remember's only that others stopped him
Drunk with ideas and failure
He drinks to prove his successes
To blame others
For their honesty
Until maybe he realises
That the problem is his
Not others

We all want the excitement to take us of

reality

and

decisions

Dave

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

1 posted 2006-04-23 06:58 PM

I wouldn't say that in your title because your deapreciating your work before any ones reads it. You are too good of a poet to do that. intoxicated or not.

-Juju

-<>-~-<>-~-<>-
* Juju *
-<>-~-<>-~-<>-

Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

2 posted 2006-04-23 08:00 PM

I must change that critique message

I do actually care

Dave

HopeS
Member Elite

since 2000-12-22

Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

3 posted 2006-04-23 11:58 PM

My son blames always others , I am waiting until he realises the promlems are his

Hope

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

4 posted 2006-04-24 03:51 AM

Woops I meant the title from others to read as a comment of your poem. There is nothing wrong with your poem.

-Juju

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

5 posted 2006-04-24 07:55 AM

Good Morning Dave
Loved the read,the message within it.

:-)

Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace."

Albert Schweitzer,
Nobel Peace Prize Wi

mariae
Member

since 2006-04-24

Posts 54
Denmark, Europe

6 posted 2006-04-24 07:59 AM

Really liked it :-)

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

7 posted 2006-04-24 08:32 AM

perhaps I will show this to a friend of mine, though god knows words haven't worked so far. I like this a lot.
thank you so much
*chin up*

farewell the ash-tray girl

Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

8 posted 2006-04-25 01:48 PM

Words dont I think ever reach it.

Substitutes might but it is almost a brain thing and we start from too young on it and engrain it in the brain so drinking is seen to be the thing.

Drinking can have a purpose but intelligence might be a better idea but everything I look at a politician I wonder just how much damage they do and how you tell someone doing less damage to stop, when your leaders are basically shown as con-artists, liars and could'nt a " " about anyone but their egos

Dave

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