Translation of Rilke's Spanish Dancer

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Les Gartner
Junior Member

since 2006-04-10

Posts 37
MD

0 posted 2006-04-22 04:44 PM

Spanish Dancer

As in the hand, a sulfur match glows white
before it bursts in flames, and then it darts
its flickering tongue over every side—:
so in the circle of close observers, bright
quick,and hot,her round dance spreads itself in darts.
And suddenly it is completely flame.

With a single glance she sets ablaze her hair
and all at once with dauntless art she whirls
her whole dress into those impassioned swirls,
from which, like startled rattlesnakes, her
naked arms awake clicking, and unfurl.

And then: as if the fire grew too close,
she gathers it up and disdainfully throws
it away with an imperious grace
and looks: there it lies, it rages in that place
and still ablaze and unwilling to yield—.
But triumphant, certain, and with a sweet
exultant smile she lifts her face afield
and stamps it out with forceful tiny feet.

—Rainer Maria Rilke
—translated by Leslie P. Gartner

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2006-04-22 05:38 PM

Hi, Les!

Rainer Maria Rilke must surely be smiling down upon you for enabling her words to reach ~ and touch! ~ more people in the world.

Your translations read so smoothly, that it amazing to me that the language of origin is not English! Kudos to you!

Love & Poetry,
Linda

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

2 posted 2006-04-22 10:09 PM

Thank you for this wonderful translation! I can easily visualize the movement, colors, mood and the varied stances of the dancer. The translation is exquisite!

miscellanea

jody5
Senior Member

since 2005-12-21

Posts 876
California, U.S.A.

3 posted 2006-04-22 10:22 PM

Bravo. A translation well done and much enjoyed. Huggs Kim

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2006-04-23 12:58 PM

He would be beaming indeed, you do him and yourself proud with your translations. Enjoyed this very much.

Les Gartner
Junior Member

since 2006-04-10

Posts 37
MD

5 posted 2006-04-23 02:40 PM

Linda,

Once again thank you for your kind words and praise for the translation. Unfortunately, it is not as accurate as I would have liked it to be - Rilke says snakes, not rattlesnakes and he says matches, not sulfur matches. I don't mind the rattlesnakes that much; but the phrase sulfur matches has too many connotations that I wish I could have avoided. But then, I always think of a translation as a work in progress...

Les

Les Gartner
Junior Member

since 2006-04-10

Posts 37
MD

6 posted 2006-04-23 02:45 PM

Hi Miscellanea,

Thank you for seeing a picture that was similar to the one that I had in mind as I was reading the original. I tried to capture the fire in the dancer and the crackling sounds that her castanets and dancing shoes made. Also, her dress reminded me of flames leaping and dancing in organized randomness.

Les

Les Gartner
Junior Member

since 2006-04-10

Posts 37
MD

7 posted 2006-04-23 02:46 PM

Thank you Kim. Of course, if I could write poetry I would not be merely translating it.

Les

Les Gartner
Junior Member

since 2006-04-10

Posts 37
MD

8 posted 2006-04-23 02:47 PM

Mysteria,

Thank you for for your nice comments.

Les

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