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Open Poetry #37
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Jack Straw
Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70


0 posted 2006-03-23 06:40 PM


work in progress if anyone has any tips share them please.
----------
Tonight,
I cried,
wept for the world
wept out of sadness
Sadness for the world

we seem to have lost sight
lost sight of what's right
this world gives me fright
in this everlasting night

Tonight,
I sighed,
a groan of contempt
contempt I hold against
against apathetic men

my sigh,
understood only by the wise
the wise ones who've cried,
cried, sighed and tried

Tonight,
I said goodbye
goodbye to the night
the night we tried to alight
in this everlasting fright

Looking at my last horizon
wondering when they'll wizen
then I close my eyes and
I can feel the sun risin

Last night
I tried
I tried not to cry
I tried not to sigh
and tried not to die
but after I died
The sun did rise
to illuminate the lives
of the ones
who sighed
cried
tried
fried
theorized
and then died

my fiery eyes
my sunrise

© Copyright 2006 Jack Straw - All Rights Reserved
Ixtab
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 105
MEXICAlpan de las tunas
1 posted 2006-03-23 07:06 PM


This poem deals with hopelesness, with the form you gave it it captures the feeling of the subject. good work.

Air Goddess
Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 108
Canada
2 posted 2006-03-23 08:32 PM


You make the sunrise appear
much more beautiful when you
paint it this way.

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