»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #37
»
hello world
| Open Poetry #37 |
|
hello world |
|
|
curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
I wrote this song or poem i don't know what it is today because i have a lot of emotions inside of me . it's my first text i've ever written so don't judge too hard.here it goes....... Hello world Is anyone there? Should I open the light or is it already on? Do I need to go or should I stay a while longer. Hello world I am here I have feelings too I am me, you are you It seems that everyone keeps on walking away from me It seems that you always end up walking away from me Am I too much or am I not enough Should I just be me or do I need to change I want to let go of myself and reach out to you. But how can I feel your hand, How can I touch your eyes if your not even there? Did I imagine you or did I imagine what you could have been Did I want you or did I want what you could have been Did I love you or did I love what you could have been. I need to go now, I don’t want to stay any longer I don’t want to be here any longer I want to go now I never want to come back here again. Don’t come searching after me I know you won’t cause I’ll come back again I’ll come back again I’ll come back again I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry to myself. Because I want you more than I want myself But I cannot have you; you can not have me anymore. Hello world Is anyone there? Should I open the light or is it already on? Do I need to go or should I stay a while longer. Hello world I am here and I have feelings too I am me, you are you Hello world Why are you here? Leave me now, or do I need to leave you? |
||
| © Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
hi guys [This message has been edited by curiouse (03-22-2006 04:01 AM).] |
||
|
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Not having any luck matching a tune to this, though it reads more like a song than a poem ... kind of sad feelings showing through. Perhaps reality fed the thoughts you wrote here ... a subject so many have experienced and so many more are yet to, for sure. Writing does help the healing process.  Rex |
||
|
sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Welcome to the blue pages. I read this a couple of times trying to understand if it's mixed emotions about someone or confusion due to low selfesteem. Sounds lonely..a cry to be helped, and/or comforted. It does have a flow that seemed musical. I'm not a good one to critique anyone else's work, so just thought I'd let you know my take. Rae |
||
|
sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
In your profile, it says NO critiques. Perhaps this is why no one else has responded. |
||
|
Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
There is something here...this sounds like you wanted possibly to be with someone....thought the world of the person involved..thought things could be...now things are not the way you wanted them to go..the person you liked does not feel the same way...but you loved them so much...that you think this world has let you down...but it is not that way....it is just a part of life...we are so attached emotionally to people...that we lose sight of whats real..you havent been let down at all..you have an obstacle you need to get over...and be strong...you have the strength to overcome any obstacle..show us you can and tell us about it through your poetry...enjoyed your words....thanks for your first post here...welcome to pip... Goldenrose. [This message has been edited by Goldenrose (03-22-2006 06:01 AM).] |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Dear curiouse... Welcome to Passions! As our member Sandgrain indicated, your profile indicates you wish no critique, so it will be difficult for members to know whether you wish, or do not wish, to have critique on your poetry. You see, we are a very different site from so many others you may have frequented. First, we are a family of poets. Secondly, we have a deep well of respect for what our members require. This can all be displayed easily in your profile. If you have questions on how to find your profile, and edit it, just ask any moderator or administrator...or even a fellow poet. You'll find us most helpful. There are many venues for your thoughts, your poetry, your prose, and just plain old discussion. I hope you will find your way around here with ease, and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact anyone. We are truly a community - a circle of friends. In the meantime? Check your email for a Very Special Greeting! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I want to let go of myself and reach out to you. But how can I feel your hand, How can I touch your eyes if your not even there? Did I imagine you or did I imagine what you could have been Did I want you or did I want what you could have been Did I love you or did I love what you could have been." I enjoyed this Welcome to Pip! |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
curiouse The answer is if you want a friend you have to be friendly. |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions! I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words, |
||
|
XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
Good job! Like Seymour (Mr.Tabin) said...Want friends...be friendly. Want love...plant seeds of love. They germinate in any soil and you will be overjoyed with the harvest. Perfect peace to you. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
