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Open Poetry #37
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Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2006-03-13 09:20 PM


(I am beginning an all-new series of poems based on one of my favorite shows on TV, "Monk", yay!

Here's the first one, regarding the fear of public showers, LOL! )




I Didn’t Shower With Other Guys (I Had A Note From My Doctor)
By: Noah Eaton
3/13/06

Crystal clear is the haunting memory,
I was in third grade, four foot, nine inches tall,
we used to have P.E every morning before lunch,
and I lost my appetite from each pounding of medicine ball.
Coach Custer enforced mandatory showers,
I begged, “Please, Coach Custer, please don’t make me go!”,
But no matter how much I flinched and clinched,
I couldn’t penetrate the status quo.

I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I had a note from my doctor)
I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I got a note from my doctor)

They use showerheads formerly used on circus elephants,
bought off the former Yugoslavian black market,
the Stockholm Superstreams blow everyone against the wall,
and you only hold your ground as luck would have it.
Girls complained about ruining their hair in there,
Tabitha Thompson was a conflict mediator with a Sailor Moon odango,
the jet split her hair like a peach,
and ever since she’s went off like a piping crow.

I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I had a note from my doctor)
I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I got a note from my doctor)

I remember Nate Hofrichter of the Model U.N Club,
he was the foreign diplomat for Senegal,
well, one day I caught him relieving himself,
all across the shower stall wall,
since that fateful day I can’t trust anyone,
there’s no place for multilateral diplomacy,
no Lysol or trip to Kokopelli’s Green Market,
will ever cleanse generations of toxicity.

I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I had a note from my doctor)
I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I got a note from my doctor)

Coach Custer told us to bring our gym suits home,
once a week to be washed and dried,
I’d run a cycle every 90 minutes,
and iron it every morning as if it were under the knife,
I always kept my exercise to a minimum,
cause I hate being soused in my own sweat,
if only they made suitcases out of Tupperware,
you’d bet that I’d be set.

I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I had a note from my doctor)
I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I got a note from my doctor)

I’ve never seen my feet once in my life,
and I do not intend to start now,
I’ll apply industrial glue to my boots if I have to,
to Mother Nature my feet shall not kowtow.
Just the thought of standing naked with my peers,
makes me feel beyond claustrophobic,
the tickling of armpit hair against my shoulder,
and body odor beyond all comprehension.

I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I had a note from my doctor)
I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I got a note from my doctor)

So I said, “This just can’t be school policy,
this is torture to the first degree!”
This isn’t a blanket excuse, this is about my rights,
life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is what I decree.
So I picked up a note from my doctor,
and framed it squarely into Coach Custer’s hand,
announcing my emancipation from floor tiles,
public showers, shared soaps and expanding sweat glands.

I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I had a note from my doctor)
I didn’t shower with the other guys
(I got a note from my doctor)
.
.
.
(Ohhhhhhh,
who’s gonna polish that lightbulb,
on the shower room ceiling...
.
.
.
...it’s haunting me...)
.
.
.
.
.


"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

© Copyright 2006 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2006-03-14 07:36 PM


Naoh!!  You are just too much!!!!

~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2006-03-17 07:46 PM


I wish I could have had a note from my doctor so that I didn't have to shower with all the other highschool cheerleaders after our practices and games! Mind you, there were many football players willing to take my place! Flirty

Loves, 'n hugs, 'n laughs ~ 'n cheers!
Linda

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