»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #37
»
Mordecum (a word play)
| Open Poetry #37 |
|
Mordecum (a word play) |
|
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
To much More to come Too much more to come. Mordecum, a place between the present Stuck in foreign wall Sunlight is shedding In the place of Mordecum. The windows are pigeon holes The light refuses hall Too much darkness In sorrowdom of them all. Prisoners sell themselves in dark When doors are held wide open. The sentry moves aside His freeing words are spoken "Too much more to come, To much more to Come!" [This message has been edited by miscellanea (03-09-2006 08:22 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2006 Cathy Farmer - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Evolution of this poem: Rather than post a note by the poem, I find it less distracting to post one here. This one is a quite different for me. The tones are dark in this, as I find myself challenged in spirit by my job right now. I'd rather teach children than test them continually! But I, like everyone have a decision to make as to my attitude. Earlier in the poem, I was dark, but I knew I wanted to work myself out of it. This is why I chose the word play. (I love the challenge of puzzles. If I hadn't used one, well... I probably would still be in a yucky mood!) I'm not sure it conveys a sunnier mood at the end or not, but I tried. misce |
||
|
icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Prisoners sell themselves in dark When doors are held wide open. The sentry moves aside His freeing words are spoken "Too much more to come, To much more to Come!" I think you do convey a lighter attitude at the end and the last lines show that you feel a little less hobbled by the feelings you had at the beginning. I really like this piece! Caroline |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Brava, misc'e... Brava!  |
||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
icequeen, Thank you kindly for your feedback. I appreciate it. (I wasn't at all sure how to place a different emphasis on the refrain to change its meaning.) misce |
||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Sunshine, Your enthusiastic response cheers one on! Thank you... misce |
||
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Pigeons come looking in windows But where has she gone That cheered them beyond her sorrows Has she now moved on? They will search out all the sky To find her path away Taking a comforting coo where they fly Till they find her again some day. Gloom |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Misc....enjoyed the play on words. There is always more to come...sometimes good more, and sometimes not so good. I was a teacher...I understand what you were saying in your explanation. The children need good teachers like you...I'd say keep it up...there is more to come!!  |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I think you have definitely shown a lighter attitude with your ending. Excellent work. |
||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Thank you, Friends. This is always a difficult month for me. During the entire month, I administer individual tests to children who have special written education plans. Perhaps, the No Child Left Behind Act was proposed to help every child, but from my perspective, it only lowers the self esteem of those children it was intended to protect. They don't need to have their noses rubbed in failure by being subjected to inappropriate tests for their needs! Days and days are wasted in process of testing or test preparation. Auxillary classes have to be cancelled in order to provide enough adults to administer one-on-one tests. The effectiveness of it should be seriously evaluated. And... do we pigeon hole when attempting not to? |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Miscellanea, like Martie, I was also a teacher for many years, and I know exactly how you feel and agree with you wholeheartedly. Loved the poem and the sandwiching effect of the refrain and the way the wind blew the second refrain. - Owl |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
There is always more than a modicum of light in your writes!  Enjoyed your witty play on words. Sending you a warm hug of love, Linda |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I enjoyed this very much!!! *S* |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Waydago! You did good! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
inappropriate tests ....that's putting it mildly...I agree, I end up teaching while all the teachers are testing..seems like such a waste of money to me and I think they should forget that no child left behind stuff and teach and get the wage they give me added to their salaries..but no one ever listens to me anyway. |
||
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read  |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
clever word play! as for that testing busyness? the no-child-left-behind? I agree, for as far as I can see it does the exact opposite of it's creator's intent, dropping more mind bombs on the heads of the children who need lifting up, not putting down. I once referred to it as the no-child-lifted-up act. or, the no-child-moved-forward act....both meaning the same thing to me [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (03-10-2006 09:28 PM).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
