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Open Poetry #37
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Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2006-03-01 10:57 PM


tempest tossed thoughts leave me beached,
floundering helplessly in my castaway mentality,
like an errant whale in a drifting moment,
sounding new depths unfamiliar

while in a quiet corner of my mind
I ride the crest of a high wave,
remembering how it felt
to be desperately in love

the exhilaration
no boundaries, no limits
time meant nothing
the sandgrains knew it to be true

we would never count them all,
though we tried for a time
even as the storms approached;
perhaps, we simply set sail too soon

tonight my thoughts toss me about,
in an errant beached whale of a moment
driftless, with an unsound compass
seeking unkown depths in surround sound



© Copyright 2006 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved
LukeMW
Junior Member
since 2006-03-01
Posts 15
Canada
1 posted 2006-03-01 11:08 PM


A wonderful metaphor and great diction. This reminds me of the poem I just posted for my first post... take a look at "Cycle" in open poetry if you want, I just thought I'd mention it since this reminded me of it quite a bit.
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
2 posted 2006-03-01 11:21 PM


the exhilaration
no boundaries, no limits
time meant nothing
the sandgrains knew it to be true


I love this whole poem... but these lines struck me like the unexpected wave

Excellent piece of work!

the only man worth your tears will never make you cry

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2006-03-01 11:39 PM




Perfect Kacy! I enjoyed it greatly.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2006-03-01 11:52 PM


Thank you for your comments, Luke, and welcome to Pips
icequeen, what a generously kind reply, and thanks for pointing out the lines that grabbed you
Lady, thanks, glad you enjoyed

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
5 posted 2006-03-02 01:05 PM


My friend, my friend . . . so much truth, so much heart, so much 'poetry' in your words. You've reached a new high on my list of you.

jwesley

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2006-03-02 01:36 PM



I know these tempests...

and you tossed this one off
very well.




Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2006-03-02 02:14 PM


" with an unsound compass
seeking unkown depths in surround sound"

Amazing talent you have for putting your feelings in writing Kacy..
I so very much enjoyed this piece.
Hugs~Nancy

~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2006-03-02 03:04 PM


Kacy I have often been amazed by your talent, but I hafta tell you sistah.....

This is by far one of my favorites of yours,and in my humble opinion (for what it's worth...    one of your best ever..

I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor with this one gal.  You have truly, outdone yourself.  Hugsssss  

seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love.  Axel Ekenstierna

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

9 posted 2006-03-02 03:35 PM


Afine write here Kacy..enjoyed the nautical metaphor..thank you..

Goldenrose.

Desire for nothing except desirelessness,hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes, want nothing and you will have everything.avatar Meher Baba.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2006-03-03 12:26 PM


"tonight my thoughts toss me about,
in an errant beached whale of a moment
driftless, with an unsound compass
seeking unkown depths in surround sound"

What a metaphor!  I have a lot of those moments....lol.   ....jo


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2006-03-03 02:17 PM


Thank you each, for reading and commenting, for letting me know this one touched you.
And to think, I nearly tossed this one out to sea.

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
12 posted 2006-03-04 10:15 AM


while in a quiet corner of my mind
"I ride the crest of a high wave,
remembering how it felt
to be desperately in love

the exhilaration
no boundaries, no limits
time meant nothing
the sandgrains knew it to be true."

It is nice to think of you in a time of desperate love.  I don't think any of us quite ever forget those moments, but you put them together.  Great wording here, Kacy.  Hugs, Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
13 posted 2006-03-04 10:30 AM


Kacy ~ A fine piece of descriptively emotive writing!

Your pen uses Grade A ink!

Hugs with love,
Linda

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