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Open Poetry #37
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2006-02-19 03:14 AM



I was thinking,
why don't you stop by
so I can show you around a little bit
and let you take a look at what you missed.
If you promise you'll spare me,
it makes me nervous
when you pretend not to look
at the scars on my heart.

And over here we have something different  
but you may not appreciate the art work,
or porcelain blue on brown
and lime green scheme of things.
It's been a long time,
but not much has changed
except my attitude and what I call colorful.

It's just a thought,
a little something for you,
self serving perhaps
to see if you have a care like I do.
You know, you probably should get going
before I slip and get too comfortable.
Heaven forbid,
I make the same mistake twice.

Furthermore,
I can't skirt around you tonight,
it's pulling too tight
and I'm losing my train of thought.
Hold on,
where was I
Right,
maybe another time.

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (02-19-2006 03:54 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2006-02-19 07:45 AM


love it...(we are probably more alike than you remember

M

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
2 posted 2006-02-19 10:32 AM


Sometimes it can be a good thing, making the same mistake twice ~~ scars and all.

There's an element of sadness and resignation in this piece, and at the end I found myself saying, "Don't give up, don't you give up on him like that!"



~~J

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2006-02-19 02:10 PM


Umm, thanks you two.  My thoughts started dancing in my head last night.  
Sheesh, I should have just gone to sleep and scrapped this all together.  
But you know how it sounds good at the time?

Oh Please, and thank you~  

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2006-02-19 02:22 PM


"And over here we have something different  
but you may not appreciate the art work,
or porcelain blue on brown
and lime green scheme of things.
It's been a long time,
but not much has changed
except my attitude and what I call colorful."


Sounds beautiful to me...anytime.  
Good to read you again Bluesygirl.  Like bright, warm sunbeams in February.  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2006-02-19 02:37 PM


Lori

"It's just a thought,
a little something for you,
self serving perhaps
to see if you have a care like I do."

I like the honesty of this...and to serve yourself is not a bad thing!  

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2006-02-19 02:44 PM


You're timing is all wrong Duncan dear, I was hoping
this would find it's way to the back pages.... preferably, sooner, than later.  
But I'm glad you enjoyed the scheme of things,
and I do appreicate the bit about sumbeams.  

Thanks bub~


You almost got by me, Martie girl.  Thank you.  My thoughts were racing last night,
but it wouldn't have hurt to have kept them to myself.  *cringe*

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2006-02-19 04:19 PM


ms bluezy..

interesting
how we think with shovels huh?

enjoyed it though

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
8 posted 2006-02-19 06:09 PM


Great write Bluesy...ya definitely told
em...

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
9 posted 2006-02-19 07:24 PM


"the lime green scheme of things" -- such vivid contrast to the porcelain blue of sky and the brown of earth...  but very new, like budding leafs and springtime.  I love the way your thoughts progress in this poem where old things appear comfortable, but new beginnings hold so much more promise.
Roses to you, Girl!

Karen


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2006-02-19 07:41 PM


Oh Bluesy!  I'm another who is so pleased you didn't scrap this one!!
Excellent write here!
Hugs~Nancy

~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
11 posted 2006-02-19 10:14 PM


Yeah, I like it. It's very truthful and natural. You are very good. Cheers   - Ed

"Give me a museum, and I'll fill it."
- Pablo Picasso

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2006-02-20 12:25 PM


"And over here we have something different  
but you may not appreciate the art work,
or porcelain blue on brown
and lime green scheme of things.
It's been a long time,
but not much has changed
except my attitude and what I call colorful."

Time does change the color.....like this Bluesy.   ...jo


Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
13 posted 2006-03-04 09:07 PM


Lori,

It may have been a while since I've romaed around this place, but I surely didn't forget your elegant and beautiful words...

this is lovely.

Take care.

Amy

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
14 posted 2006-03-05 02:57 AM


Well heck, I didn't feel I took enough time or collected my thoughts when writing this.  I'm my worst enemy and critic, and it just kills me when I post on the fly!  

Thanks to all of you for reading and replying.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
15 posted 2006-03-05 10:51 PM




"If you promise you'll spare me,
it makes me nervous
when you pretend not to look
at the scars on my heart."

Scrap it?? You are your worst enemy. You've said a lot in this poem and I enjoyed all of it.


icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
16 posted 2006-03-05 10:58 PM


You know, you probably should get going
before I slip and get too comfortable.
Heaven forbid,
I make the same mistake twice.

Furthermore,
I can't skirt around you tonight,
it's pulling too tight
and I'm losing my train of thought.
Hold on,
where was I
Right,
maybe another time.

I can remember where I was standing when I went through this a long time ago... you must have been a fly on the wall and saw me drop my pen. Its perfect


Caroline

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
- Persian Proverb

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