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Open Poetry #37
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exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2006-02-12 02:14 AM


your body is filling with letters
waiting to be connected
waiting to create words

you will

cut

and paste

rearrange

so you're not haunted in your sleep
with the incomplete phrasing
with the period left hanging
the pencil poised

you can't kept your hands steady
forever
the tension will build
it's already coming out in your
unfinised sentenc...

what happens
when you become your letters
and your words
what's left of a life
if words are the only thing used to describe it
and you can't even bring yourself to write them



with all the nice comments on my last one, it was hard for me to bring myself to write this. I'm pretty sure there are clumps of hair all over my floor    

© Copyright 2006 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved
FNG
Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477

1 posted 2006-02-12 02:20 AM


Like this one too. Just as much as the first one. Love it!
Kathy
Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 153

2 posted 2006-02-12 03:06 AM


O.K...I DID..Exale, I mean..

great write,

Love,
Kathy

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2006-02-12 01:23 PM



So many lines...
well done...

only had one question
of word usage,

but overall...
a haunting poem.


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2006-02-12 01:26 PM


exhale
Why you bobbed like a cork. Well done.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

5 posted 2006-02-12 02:32 PM


loved this:
"if words are the only thing used to describe it
and you can't even bring yourself to write them" ...exquisite ending

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
6 posted 2006-02-12 11:38 PM




"you can't kept your hands steady
forever
the tension will build
it's already coming out in your
unfinised sentenc..."


Forceful exhale. Well done!



wanderingin
Junior Member
since 2006-02-03
Posts 39

7 posted 2006-02-13 06:33 AM


Well done, indeed!  Loved it!
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