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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2006-02-09 01:35 PM

You are not a doll, no never,
though some have made
a toy of you, and some still do.

That used to bother me;
and sometimes it could make me
mad enough to kill.

It still does.

I draw lines against that
like the line, at times a pentagram,
that I draw around you.

But you are not a doll
though some have made you so,
and some still do; I give you this.

And this: My lines are drawn in pencil.

~~J

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2006-02-09 02:45 PM

Jamie

A fence can be a good thing, especially if it has a gate, or if it can be made bigger with the growth of whatever is contained within. I like the thought of a pencil because of the eraser side of it.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

2 posted 2006-02-09 04:00 PM

Terrific poem and I love that last line!!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2006-02-10 09:44 AM

This left many emotions in its wake... deep sympathy for anyone who was treated as an unwilling toy... bafflement at those who choose to be toys when other choices are theirs... disgust for those who make playthings of others... gratitude for those who protect... the list goes on and on... and ends as it began... in appreciation for fine writing! *S*

For lines drawn in pencil, these have great impact!

[This message has been edited by suthern (02-10-2006 10:30 AM).]

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite

since 2005-06-28

Posts 2187
Oregon

4 posted 2006-03-06 12:18 PM

I don't know if I've commented before, but this really strikes a chord with me. It feels a bit like a father protecting his daughter, but I realize it could be anyone whom you see as used, abused, and toyed with.

I also thought the last line was great. Strong feelings are evident throughout the poem, but it indicates things could change for the better.

~ Klassy ~

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2006-03-06 09:54 AM

Jaime~

You word-touch sooooo effectively~

Thank you~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

6 posted 2006-03-06 04:09 PM

Excellent poem and I too love that last line!

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

7 posted 2006-03-07 01:16 AM

It is far too long, that I have neglected these forums. Even friends forget, and even the best of poems tumbles unnoticed, let alone these words of mine.

I'm thankful for what I have, and for every one of you.

~~J

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