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Open Poetry #37
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exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2006-02-07 01:07 AM


we're breathing in static
all that comes out is confusion
our hand are clasped
and our mouths are taped
let's bring in the big guns
I'll be your safety net
if you be mine
no scissors allowed

I'll make a map of my skin
and hope you can follow the directions
can you hear the ticking?
the hours are counting down
and you'll never stop and ask for help
so here we are
with the dashboard light as a lifeline

jump off your cliff
with your words clung close to your chest
dug into your fingernails
ingrained
don't panic
this is only a test


I've had such bad writters block, I'm amazed I even got this out.



© Copyright 2006 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved
ravenapples@yahoo.com
Junior Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 17
Los Angeles, CA
1 posted 2006-02-07 01:17 AM


I don't remeber if I can curse in this forum. So I'll say that it was bleepin' fantastic.  The imagery makes that mind wonder and the themes are so strong.  I hope you get over you block and write more.  Thanx.
wvatvrider
Member
since 2006-02-04
Posts 78
West Virginia,USA
2 posted 2006-02-07 06:35 AM


Exhale... some more. I anxiously await
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2006-02-07 09:51 AM


msX..your block is broken
you have penspeak winds behind you

I enjoyed the dashboard light
as a lifeline as one of my contimplations

please continue

Bagger Vance
Member
since 2006-02-01
Posts 108
Aotearoa
4 posted 2006-02-08 02:23 AM


not bad.. aye.. not bad at all
you can do it, i feel the rain pouring soon
he liked the weave of your pen

White Gold Wielder

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
5 posted 2006-02-08 04:53 AM


If only I could get writers block like this. Fantastic writing

Andrew

RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
6 posted 2006-02-08 05:36 AM


Wasn't bad good to say you've had writers block
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
7 posted 2006-02-08 05:58 PM




I enjoyed this so much.


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2006-02-09 01:59 AM


funny, you say you're blocked but this is one of your best. get stronger with each write, nice to see, read
Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
9 posted 2006-02-10 02:23 PM


"we're breathing in static
all that comes out is confusion"


Those first two lines had me instantly hooked! The rest just flowed so perfectly.

I love it

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ... Swim out to it"

om
Junior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 31
ontario/canada
10 posted 2006-02-10 08:06 PM


I like this one, has beginning, body, and humorous ending, made me want read it again from its give..
Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

11 posted 2006-02-10 10:38 PM


Sorry about the block but you didi great!!!
FNG
Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477

12 posted 2006-02-11 06:50 AM


Enjoyed reading it. Brings me back to my school time... Remembered the scene i had my big test in the hall.


playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
13 posted 2006-02-11 07:42 AM


"let's bring in the big guns
I'll be your safety net
if you be mine
no scissors allowed"

oh excellent. Brilliant writing. And if writers block was the price to pay for this, I would say it was well worth it!
eagerly awaiting. xx

farewell the ash-tray girl

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