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| Open Poetry #37 |
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Hey New to the forum |
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ravenapples@yahoo.com Junior Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 17Los Angeles, CA |
Introduction Stand amazed blank alter no lost father spit ink to it watch the ricochet blot black in the skull casket candle glows in the wind against teeth that came from polar caps candle glows in the rain consuming water mark had to jump start heart free me formula premium combination supreme cliental destination those pigment stains aint stolen second birth blood brother return ink in my brain through the vein authorized authoritis my hand won't let go of that pen blood stone river permeant flowing word free me die just to lie between the line wake me when I'm read fluid mortar forever carry me in grey winkles |
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| © Copyright 2006 ravenapples@yahoo.com - All Rights Reserved | |||
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exhale Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646Alberta,Canada |
candle glows in the wind against teeth that came from polar caps candle glows in the rain consuming water mark had to jump start heart seriously? loved this poem. p.s thanks for the sweet comment on mine btw  |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
I could see this as a rap song...I was singing it as I read it. WELCOME TO PIP! ~ARH  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
permeant flowing word free me die just to lie between the line wake me when I'm read Welcome to Passions! *S* I enjoyed this very much and look forward to reading more of your work! *S* |
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ManOfWolves28 Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 83 |
This one reminds me of something I once spoke in my sleep. Actually recorded it but havent transcribed anything yet. I rermember most of it involved a pen with no ink and filling it with my own blood. I like the rhythem of the words in this poem. ...If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 I too found this almost read like rap, great job! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Excellent work raven. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Welcome to Passions!  This is a fantastic first post. I really loved the harsh rhythm, it fits very well with the imagery of this piece. I look forward to reading more of your work. Andrew |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"my hand won't let go of that pen blood" ~ As Martha Stewart would say, "And that's a good thing!"  Welcome to our Passionate Family! Warm, welcoming hug, Earth Angel |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Much to like, in your word-play -- I'll look for more.... Welcome aboard! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Authorized arthritis... a heady line. Wanted, not needed, respected, implored. Yet, the pain. Excellent! P.S. Check your email for a Very Special Welcome! |
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Bagger Vance Member
since 2006-02-01
Posts 108Aotearoa |
ah.. and wot a debut this be... brava White Gold Wielder |
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ravenapples@yahoo.com Junior Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 17Los Angeles, CA |
Thank you |
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