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Open Poetry #37
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I woke up alive (an art performance)
| Open Poetry #37 |
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I woke up alive (an art performance) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I dreamed of my father and I woke up crying the spotlight is blinding a face painted white the pain is a line as a wide black crayon as if what was drawn needed more emphasis a child had made plans to come back and fill the emptiness in with colors too fat and waxes too normal to ever speak this: I dreamed of my father and cried in my sleep. - I can hear murmerers furthering this - rendered as mimes in art performance gasp-painted "o"'s address redundance-- it's "ridiculous" writing stabbed one critic's pen. I dreamed of my father, alive once again. I dreamt of my father in chain to a plow as lithe subtle bodies flowed feathered gold wheat arose let him go waving banners of crepe-- I dreamt of my father enslaved by my grief-- aside, from offstage, director-discreet: "Here--we need wind and don't fade the spot just clip to the black. Hit the houselights - like bam! -- just like that - I want them to see absence as a stark fact, I want them to know how it feels to feel... lack as sure as the dots on the lens of their eyes." I dreamed of my father. I woke up alive. |
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| © Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Powerful work Serenity. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
K-Lady, I'm glad you woke up alive, really glad. Is this the first one? I can visualize it working if it is. Don't worry about the critics, k?  ....jojo |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sighing I tripped myself up in the last verse--but I swear, there was rhythm when I wrote it.  tsk...and yep, I'm leaving this one alone. I told m'self to quit trying to write life tidy--alas, I wrote death, the mess that it is. Maybe next time, eh?  Thanks Lady, and  Jo Jo. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen...what you write is....and I always feel it to the soft bone of my heart and beyone. I'm so glad you do...write, and live! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
What you write... touches deeply. *S* |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This had a powerful impact on me Karen.. for personal reasons. Love the way you tell it..don't change a word! Love ya lady~ In the midst of winter, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I dreamt of my father in chain to a plow as lithe subtle bodies flowed feathered gold wheat arose let him go waving banners of crepe-- I dreamt of my father enslaved by my grief-- aside, from offstage, director-discreet: "Here--we need wind ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ remember what I said on the phone the other day... light years ahead ... as lithe subtle bodies flowed feathered gold wheat poetic brilliance belongs in the spotlight, still you shine in your own light.   |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, Could you dream a dream for me? A touching piece. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"I woke up alive." Personally, most of the time I hate when I do that; the rest of the time I simply am disappointed. Your poetic skill continues to grow. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
trust me, you sent this message just as was intended . . . you made me feel . . . the lack of white black? but then they say that black is the abscence of light when really it encompasses the entire spectrum ~~~ (See? your last right made me think, shame on you) *smiling* I have to tell you though, Karen, I followed every scene here, you make me see these things as they play onstage, a reel to reel of your beautiful mind and soul . . . as lithe subtle bodies flowed feathered gold wheat arose let him go waving banners of crepe-- |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
powerfully written felt and expressed! Dear lady you blow me away |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
What a perfect title to a perfect poem... |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Serenity Blaze, this is an exquisite poem (as usual!!) written as only you can. I know you have had a very hard time in the last while, although I don't know the circumstances, other than Katrina, but nevertheless I envy you at least a large part of your circumstances. The absence of your father in your poem implies a previous presence and I envy you that. I also envy you for having a parent who can inspire your tears. - Owl |
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poetry_queen Member
since 2006-02-02
Posts 94england, |
like this one alot  leanne x |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...and than God you woke up alive...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You're a forever inspiration... and I thank you for this. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"I want them to see absence as a stark fact, I want them to know how it feels to feel... lack as sure as the dots on the lens of their eyes." sheesh, if ya can't FEEL this one? ya aint alive  sayin howdy and givin you a hug tonight |
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