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Open Poetry #37

Rescue

DejaEntendu
Member

since 2005-12-06

Posts 82
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2006-01-31 04:10 AM

Hey everyone.
First new poem in a while, wrote it this morning. Please let me know what you think of it.

Ink stains and long nights,
of running through the graveyard,
where I used to live,
where I wish you were.
But if you'd like,
I'll bury you with me,
and burden you with my secrets,
because the coffin gets cold,
in the lonesome ground.
The viewing is over now,
so don't be shy,
there's nobody here but me anymore,
but you knew that-
you were the undertaker.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2006-01-31 07:11 AM

hmmm..interesting take on burial

"I'll bury you with me,
and burden you with my secrets,"

like those lines..but I prefer to carry only my own burdens with me...whenever

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

2 posted 2006-01-31 02:13 PM

"because the coffin gets cold,
in the lonesome ground"

I agree... it's an interesting poem.

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

3 posted 2006-02-01 04:41 PM

I liked this, though can't put my finger on why... I think it needs more mulling over! I like your PiP name too; my French is rusty but does it mean Already met?

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

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