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Open Poetry #37
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Cowboys and Indians
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Cowboys and Indians |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest 
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When my brother was young he cut the grass every Saturday not knowing he would die before his children grew up before the boys became drug dealers his only daughter a teacher for the blind before his wife found the lump that would kill her slowly painfully crying his name every Saturday he cut the grass early when the air was cool the sun barely over the horizon his children played cowboys and Indians as if practicing for life the sun grew larger the air thicker warmer my brother’s wife prepared the meat for the barbecue grill his children gave up their play and spoke in soft voices when the jealous sun gave over his spot to a silken string of moon my brother’s wife brought lemonade icy summer on the tongue the children sat in the grass my brother and his wife on lawn chairs and life was complete when my brother was young [This message has been edited by The Lady (01-29-2006 05:38 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
An intimate family portrait here, Lady. Thanks for sharing your lovely writing and dear family. How very tragic.  ...jo |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
Beautiful. A loving, wistful tribute. perhaps the title could be, Cowboys and Indians? *smiles* I loved this piece. always with love. xxx farewell the ash-tray girl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Nodding... sometimes when things are really bad? I take myself to "good memory places". smiling as I think of one now... nice, Lady, nice  |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Writing this through my tears at your pain and your happiness that you painted into a delicate cameo of supreme perfection - and supreme perfection cannot exclude the imperfect (that being the sadnesses). Thank you for this. My only criticism of this is that it is untitled. This poem deserves a perfect title. - Owl |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Thank you all so much for your very kind replies. You are right Owl… it needs a title. Perhaps I shall take playing.with.crayons suggestion and name it Cowboys and Indians. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
This is good The title is fine, yet it's the poem that matters. John |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
It is good to reflect on what has been good. I don't think I could have managed to write such a beautiful and sensitive poem if in the same shoes. Amazing ability to turn a bad memories into a calming ones. I could visualize the cool lemonade moments. miscellanea |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
beautiful and touching~~ when the jealous sun gave over his spot to a silken string of moon my brother’s wife brought lemonade icy summer on the tongue ^ love this especially M |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Your poem brought to mind an old slogan that ABC sport commentators used to say ~ "The agony and the ecstasy". Your family has experienced the joys of summer days and the sorrows of lightless nights. An exceptionally sensitive and moving write from your heart. Yes, remember all the golden moments. They make the sad and tragic memories more bearable. Love & Peace, Linda |
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DennisTheMenace Member
since 2005-09-04
Posts 240 |
a mirror of life in words and I enjoyed it |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Thank you all so much. Your replies are very touching. |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
What an ingenious title.... *grinning* I will praise your writing again. It is beautiful. always. xxx farewell the ash-tray girl |
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Jack Straw Member
since 2006-03-02
Posts 70 |
I especially like the ending part with the wife bringing lemonade how life was so simple and innocent when your brother was young =). This poem paints a great picture of nostalgia(sp) |
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StevenS Senior Member
since 2005-09-21
Posts 945L. A. (Lower Alabama) |
This story is dancing gracefully through my mind, touching ever so gently my own sense of loss. Very Beautiful Lady! |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
The past is another country. I often wish my visa papers were still up to date. Thanks for the glimpse of your's. Very well written! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Thank you Jack. (Your spelling is fine.) Thanks Steven. Thank you icebox. |
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