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Katerie
Member

since 2006-01-27

Posts 92
Central New York

0 posted 2006-01-28 09:04 AM

"Calling The Invisible"

A violent, unforgiving rainstorm,
Saturates the Earth beneath my feet,
Pounding unforgivingly on the nearby tin roof;
Surely disturbing its inhabitants.

Among many,
Blackbird, stone, and agonisingly gray sky alike,
I am alone,
Calling silently upon some unknown presence,
That which is so well known, and all too often absent.

Advancing slowly on said destination,
Which even I know not the name of,
I begin to move in retrograde,
Physically in locomotion,
Mentally backing away timidly,
Mind always a few hundred feet behind.

My body decides to join my mind,
Both arriving at a midpoint in a timely fashion,
Finally intwining, melting, crossing infinitely,
Altogether indivisible,
Especially under God.

A final gust of wind blows through,
Sharp and frigid,
Though resolute,
Bringing the last of the storm to a halt,
As all becomes eerily silent.

The clouds do not move,
And the sun takes its time,
The sodden ground remaining sodden,
My frozen body refusing to thaw,
And after years of contemplation,
Finding nothing more in a rainstorm,
Than a sudden bout of precipitation.

[Edited for typos which appear as glaring grammatical errors.]

[This message has been edited by Katerie (01-28-2006 11:15 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2006-01-28 09:14 AM

Katerie
Enjoyed the weather of the read.

Katerie
Member

since 2006-01-27

Posts 92
Central New York

2 posted 2006-01-29 08:37 AM

Seymour- Thank you, very much!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2006-01-29 04:49 PM

And after years of contemplation,
Finding nothing more in a rainstorm,
Than a sudden bout of precipitation.

many good lines here, Katerie

I enjoy your writings,
M

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2006-01-30 12:35 PM

Interesting reality check. Well done.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

5 posted 2006-01-30 01:05 AM

Another excellent piece of work.

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

6 posted 2006-01-30 05:19 AM

There is a blissful dark undercurrent to this poem, you portray the scene as you instinctively see it and in doing so present to us the picture you want us to see and thoughts you want to tell us as you go about your walk. You have done your part well, now it is up to us to run it through the cine camera of our imagination...thank you for the negative film...

Goldenrose.

Desire for nothing except desirelessness,hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes, want nothing and you will have everything.avatar Meher Baba.

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

7 posted 2006-01-30 06:00 AM

Kate~
Wonderful imagery in this and flowing beautifully - I enjoyed this very much with it's many wonderful lines...I particularly liked the last line. Thanks for sharing

~hugs~

Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
— W. E. Channing

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2006-01-30 07:57 AM

enjoying your view.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2006-01-30 03:13 PM

"My body decides to join my mind,
Both arriving at a midpoint in a timely fashion,
Finally intwining, melting, crossing infinitely,
Altogether indivisible,
Especially under God."

~ This stanza was especially appealing to me! ~ 'Cause I've been there! A very stirring write!

EA

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

10 posted 2006-01-30 07:55 PM

You seem to be an argument for reincarnation
for I can not imagine anyone being this good
in one brief so short a lifetime.

John

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

11 posted 2006-01-30 08:29 PM

wow! this is very nicely done, Kat
you present the storminess of life effectively with vivid 3D imagery

Kristabell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 678
Portland, OR

12 posted 2006-01-30 08:46 PM

Great write. Good sensory. Nice undertone. I know what you are trying to portray.

Keep it up,
Kristabell

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