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Open Poetry #37
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Katerie
Member
since 2006-01-27
Posts 92
Central New York

0 posted 2006-01-27 05:27 PM



A white room,
A sanctuary for the strong,
And weak minded alike,
Gives way to a sinister,
Deafening peace,
A neutrality like none other.

In the center of the cold,
Invariably white marble floor,
A stack of thin papers are amassed,
Piled neatly, without falter,
All innumerable sheets,
Impeccably homogenous and balanced.

And in an instant,
I find my hands sifting through these colorless sheets,
What I saw to be a simple,
Yet unmistakable masterpiece,
Feeling choleric, and surprisingly,
But palpably enraged.

Finding a rhythm, I lift each sheet,
And immediately discard it to my left,
Only after shifting it from one hand to another,
And examining it for any signs of intrest;
A color, a tint, or a shade.

Finding nothing, my eyes,
Weary, and burning with tears,
begin to close,
Yielding a near peace,
Much like what the chamber of sheer nothingless,
Allowed to me experience so breifly.

And upon realizing,
That is not my turn to wake up,
Now, or later, or even in a thousand years,
I smile internally,
Finally reaching my gateway,
The one I've yearned for,
For what seems like a lifetime,
Between transparency,
And that land of hue, iridescence,
And undying luminosity.


© Copyright 2006 Kate Sands - All Rights Reserved
Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
1 posted 2006-01-27 05:45 PM


You describe things superbly! I really like your style. I can't even begin to pick a favorite line but the first two stanzas really set the poem, great. I applaud you. Welcome to PiP Katerie, glad you're here. Cheers   - Ed

Momma says, "Life... is like a box full of chocolates, you never know when you're gonna get one with a nut in it".

Katerie
Member
since 2006-01-27
Posts 92
Central New York
2 posted 2006-01-27 05:58 PM


Thank you so much for the feedback.  I was afraid I was perhaps too young to be posting in this forum, given the fact that I am a teen, but it didn't seem to fit in the other forum.  I'm glad to be here, and needless to say, amazing site!

[Edited to erase the illusion that I am, in fact, gramatically inept.]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2006-01-27 06:13 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS KATERIE!
Your first post is absolutely wonderful!
I am positive you will love it here.

Please check your email for a special Passion's greeting.

~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

jody5
Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876
California, U.S.A.
4 posted 2006-01-27 06:16 PM


Welcome Katerie.  This is a very nice poem.


Fee
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 381
Melbourne, Australia
5 posted 2006-01-27 06:54 PM


Welcome.

You have amazing talent, I look forward to reading more of your work.

Hugs Fee

Expressions,
are the most important aspects, they create impressions

0'.".'0  Just
((T))    Thinking
(..)(..) Of you
(```)_(```)

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2006-01-27 07:43 PM


Kate~
Welcome to PiP ... you'll find many here that will enjoy reading you~

We are blessed with so many talented poets that will, no doubt, inspire you to grow in your poetry~

Enjoyed~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -   noles1@totcon.com

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
7 posted 2006-01-27 08:17 PM


Lol, don't worry about that Katerie. I'm only 17, ha small world.

Your mind is gifted
With words
That cannot help but pour
Out of your soul.

So as the black veins
Of ink dance across
The excited page,
All it wants is the freedom
To be freely expressed.
So worry not,
For a poet has no age.

Have fun.    - Ed

Momma says, "Life... is like a box full of chocolates, you never know when you're gonna get one with a nut in it".

Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods
8 posted 2006-01-27 11:01 PM


"Finding nothing, my eyes,
Weary, and burning with tears,"

Exciting first post, much enjoyed.

Yours truly
~Broken~

"Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away."

Peter Steele

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
9 posted 2006-01-27 11:21 PM


very impressive writing!  Welcome!  Looking forward to reading more of your poetry...

miscellanea

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2006-01-28 06:25 AM



Dear Kate...

First of all, Welcome to Passions.  Second of all, we never discourage teens from posting in the Open Forum.  This arena is fit for all ages, so as you say, your words are a perfect blending of just that, and we welcome you to our family of poets.

Second, please check your Email for a Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Katerie
Member
since 2006-01-27
Posts 92
Central New York
11 posted 2006-01-28 07:57 AM


Yes- I've checked my e-mail- thanks so much... that was *really* cute.  I bookmarked it- lol, sentimental...

Thanks for al lthe feedback, guys.  It's amazing.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2006-01-28 07:08 PM


Is this a description of a dream, perhaps.

It certainly reads like one.

I love the slow unfolding, and you've quite a talent for description, and the read left me feeling oddly surreal and yet aware.

You've got quite a talent. I'm going to enjoy reading more of your offerings.

Warmest welcome, yet again.

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
13 posted 2006-01-29 10:36 PM


your amazing !!! I am glad you are here at pip
i need to print a copy of this one for further reading .... peace : ) , wolfy


In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor and with crystal key in secrecy he opened an ivory door -J.R.R. Tolkien(T.Bombadil-the adv

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
14 posted 2006-01-29 10:41 PM


And upon realizing,
That is not my turn to wake up,
Now, or later, or even in a thousand years,
I smile internally,
Finally reaching my gateway,
The one I've yearned for,
For what seems like a lifetime,
Between transparency,
And that land of hue, iridescence,
And undying luminosity.
  
  

    
  ~that part is awesome !!!

In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor and with crystal key in secrecy he opened an ivory door -J.R.R. Tolkien(T.Bombadil-the adv

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

15 posted 2006-01-30 05:44 AM


A fine begining here, your description is very good, your scene setting good also. Your subject matter seems spontaneous, but somehow works? You could probably write well about dust forming on a table, talented people always can, enjoyed the read...thank you..and welcome to pip...

Goldenrose.

Desire for nothing except desirelessness,hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes, want nothing and you will have everything.avatar Meher Baba.

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
16 posted 2006-01-30 05:55 AM


WOW! what a wonderful first post Kate~
Welcome to passions and I hope to read more of you soon.

~hugs~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                        — W. E. Channing



Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2006-01-30 07:55 AM


Ditto what everyone else has said....

I look forward to more and welcome to Pip!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
18 posted 2006-01-30 11:35 AM


believe in what your heart feels...

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

19 posted 2006-01-30 02:21 PM


ok, I liked it in the beginning, but once I got to the end...well how could I not like it even more?
nice write

Katerie
Member
since 2006-01-27
Posts 92
Central New York
20 posted 2006-01-30 04:45 PM


Thanks, everyone.  I didn't expect to get such positive feedback.  Thanks for the welcomes, in all of my topics.  You guys are saints.  Saintly poets.  

[This message has been edited by Katerie (01-31-2006 07:31 PM).]

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