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Open Poetry #37
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The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest

0 posted 2006-01-24 10:38 PM





he could have just slipped into the river
after all
he was tired
but he jumped
deep   cold   dark water
quiet place
not silent but quiet
he floated up
to green dappled water
warm
   I answer no more questions
   Feel no more feelings
   Think no more thoughts
   Make no more decisions
  
he rested in the water
becoming a thought
singing a leaving song
praying a green forever prayer
slid quietly around the hard smooth wisdom
of rocks
floating toward the sea
toward no more
then
the river branched

© Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
1 posted 2006-01-24 11:12 PM



Now that's not bad
Not bad at all

John


The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
2 posted 2006-01-24 11:39 PM



Laughing. Thank you John.


RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
3 posted 2006-01-25 04:53 AM


Reminds me of android 17's work choked
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2006-01-25 10:20 PM


I enjoyed the dark journey of this poem, but somehow feel it may be crossing over the guidelines if I am reading it correctly, so I am very glad I got to read it.  A very vivid depiction in this one, and enjoyable read.

"There's nothing worse that being an aging young person!" - Richard Pryor
~ Carpe' Diem ~

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2006-01-25 10:24 PM


I've been away, almost nonexistent here, during the month since you joined. Now I regret it even more, because I didn't get to say a proper hello to someone who writes magic.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2006-01-25 10:35 PM


I came back to read this again, and see how many ways this could be taken, which of course makes it even that much better!   I like it too!
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
7 posted 2006-01-25 11:03 PM


Sad, sensitive and beautifully woven.

- Owl

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
8 posted 2006-01-25 11:11 PM



Thank you for reading me RedStone.

Magic, Ratleader? Thank you so much.

I'm glad you read it again Mysteria.

Thank you kindly Owl.


Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

9 posted 2006-01-25 11:20 PM


he rested in the water
becoming a thought
singing a leaving song
praying a green forever prayer
slid quietly around the hard smooth wisdom
of rocks

I love these descriptions great job!!!


The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
10 posted 2006-01-25 11:53 PM




Thank you so much Page.

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