I'm Broken - pipTalk Forums

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Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2006-01-24 04:37 PM

*I'm not sure if I feel this way anymore or not...*

There is something
fundamentally wrong
with our relationship

if we have to avoid
talking about certain subjects
because you disagree with me

And why do I always have to be
the one
who makes all the effort?

You say you wish I wouldn't
do "this"
but what's the point
in doing "that"
if you don't even notice
when I don't?

You're my addiction
no matter how much
I may want to break free
I need you
(or maybe we just think I do)

So fine,
I'm defeated
You win
You can run roughshod
over my heart

and I won't utter
a single complaint
I won't ask you anymore
for the one thing
I've ever asked of you
I'm done, I'm tired, I've had it
it's too hard to fight it anymore

You won't like this
but too bad
it's how I feel

Do what you want
with my
broken spirit

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2006-01-24 05:02 PM

dang! RHONDA? Nope! don't let anyone ride over your spirit.
Get back on your 'high horse.'
Don't allow anyone to buck you off!
And, that isn't a caring/loving relationship.
Time to find someone real.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

2 posted 2006-01-24 07:10 PM

So let me say...you deserve the best. And remember "father knows best".

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Fee
Member

since 2000-08-07

Posts 381
Melbourne, Australia

3 posted 2006-01-24 09:04 PM

Never let anybody take your spirit away, let yourself fly.... You are so special and never forget it.

It is hard, but stand up and do not lose yourself in someone else.

It is when you can be with someone else and still be yourself... that it is what it is about.

Hugs Fee

Expressions,
are the most important aspects, they create impressions

0'.".'0 Just
((T)) Thinking
(..)(..) Of you
(```)_(```)

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2006-01-24 10:29 PM

I had to smile at your disclaimer up there.

(us women, eh?)

But was going to say it isn't YOU that is broken, even though situations make you feel that way.

I understand this very well and you are much too strong a spirit to let anyone get in your way.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

5 posted 2006-01-24 10:46 PM

And right here:

"You won't like this
but too bad
it's how I feel"

you say... "You CAN'T break my spirit!"

Nice job.

RedStoneEB
Senior Member

since 2003-06-08

Posts 772
uk

6 posted 2006-01-25 05:11 AM

Sometimes life just gets to that point and you just run out of conversation and say do what the hell you want you do that anyway i've only just took time to notice

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2006-01-25 10:23 PM

Tired huh? There is a book out there called, Women That Love Too Much, and it is definitely worth the read.

If it feels bad, it is, if it makes you tired, you are. Sharing yourself with someone is a lot different than giving yourself to them.

You write angst well m'lady.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

8 posted 2006-01-25 11:26 PM

Skyfire

"I need you
(or maybe we just think I do)"

- that is the crux of the matter and the mature wisdom (especially for one so young) of the poem - and I mean the SECOND of these lines.

Please read each of the responses to your poem MANY times and hear OUR wisdom and know that it is coming from people who REALLY care about you.  We may not know you as well as he does - no, I take that back - He is with you and sees you (blindly) more than we do, but I think we know you (and notice and care) a lot more than he does.

I have been where you are several times - not that anyone's experience is exactly the same as any other person, nor can anyone possibly know exactly what the circumstances of another are, nor exactly what another is feeling, but one can be somewhere near that.  You see, it is difficult to cut the behaviour of accepting less than you are worth - but not impossible.

WE KNOW you are worthy of more than he and that you are wasting beautiful moments (even alone).  I think I have posted the second of the following poems on this board, but here they are so that they can hopefully, along with all the advice of your PIP friends, help you make the decision to ride away into the sunset and many sunrises without such strangling baggage.

ALIENATION
1994

The thick carpet of their silence grew between them
And grew
And grew
And grew so tall that it enveloped them.
Their glassy eyes could just make out
the vague shape that was the other,
disappearing into a sea of beige.
They felt the tentacles of woollen pile
reaching for their throats and
slowly,
oh so slowly,
the carpet of their silence constricted them
until their thrashing arms dropped to their inert sides
and they were as dead as their malunion.

GOODBYE
April 1994

I could find no poetry in your soul;
I couldn’t teach your heart to sing;
You wouldn’t let my spirit fly;
And so I stand here on the moonlit beach
With icy water at my feet
And whistling wind around my ears.
With sad relief, I toss the ashes
Of our might-have-beens
Into the air, and as I do,
I feel the flutter of my wounded spirit
As it breaks free and tries to soar,
But the wind plunges it into the waves below.
It splutters, then struggles to the shore,
And, bird-like, hops before me
As I make my homeward way.
The healing process has begun.

- Owl

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

9 posted 2006-01-25 11:34 PM

Oh, and what would you say to somebody who said what you are saying? Now, honestly, truly?

And what would you say to somebody who said they are not sure whether they still feel this way or not? Would you perhaps say, as I do, that if somebody isn't sure, then the fact that they might, means they do, but worse than that, that they are trying not to, and that they are approaching denial?

And Skyfire, whisper "Skyfire", say it, shout it, and listen carefully, musically, passionately, spiritually and know that that is your name and that he is putting out the fire and hiding the sky with his prison and that this can't happen to our Skyfire.

- Owl

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

10 posted 2006-01-26 02:49 AM

Oh sweetie~
this saddened me very much, my heart goes out to you for feeling this way, never let your spirit be broken, rise above and set yourself free.

winged ~hugs~

always floating your way
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
— W. E. Channing

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

11 posted 2006-01-26 05:05 AM

Wonderful, inspiring writing Rhonda, thanks for sharing it with us

Andrew

Mine are phyrric victories.

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