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Open Poetry #37
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Ratleader
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0 posted 2006-01-23 06:13 PM


And His Silver Turned To Blue

How can these be universal solvent?
They’re only dis now with no solve,
and even the sparkle wrongs me
where they catch the light,
betrays their presence, betrays me.

They roll down in streams of pain,
fall from me down, down into
the rivers of rivers, down my mountain
of remorse, spill yonder out into
the widening peneplain of despair.

How can time move now,
how can I still dance these breaths
as if there were life in me still?
The ocean is there; it is made of these,
I feel them, feel me, flowing into it.

Maybe it will dissolve me at last.


© Copyright 2006 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
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1 posted 2006-01-23 06:15 PM


A word of explanation....this started out as a masquerade poem, but then I decided not to do any more masquerades....and besides, there's enough of this in me right now, that I don't have to give it to....heh-heh-heh...whoever that would have been....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (01-23-2006 06:46 PM).]

Martie
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2 posted 2006-01-23 06:43 PM


Ed...It's a wonderful poem....sad though makes me sorry.  You have such a way of describing emotion with natural imagery.  How about a hug?  
iliana
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3 posted 2006-01-23 06:48 PM


RatL, you just keep getting more wonderful with every write.  Though so sad, it makes me want to cry, I find this extremely expressive and unique.     ...jo
Ratleader
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4 posted 2006-01-23 06:51 PM


Well, the person I started out trying to blend with, has a unique and beautiful voice...so the poem has good blood lines.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
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Sunshine
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5 posted 2006-01-23 06:53 PM



Ah, that salty ocean...
good for what ails ye...

a beautiful write, sir.


Gentle Spirit
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6 posted 2006-01-23 06:54 PM


I don't know who this might have been Ed though I have one thought at least but am just not sure..
I do know though, that I love this.  Nicely penned m'friend...

suthern
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7 posted 2006-01-23 06:55 PM


If you were to give it... you'd be giving great honor to some poet. *S* For it's magnificent... I've tried to pick out favorite lines and can't... every word is sheer excellence... I agree with Jo... you get better with every write... and that's something the rest of us just wish for... without achieving.

Imagery or emotion... which is more powerful? You've answered that question here... both... woven with a master's touch.

But ... *sigh*... this makes me wish your poetic imagination was going full throttle. *S* To know you know this is to hurt for you... Expect the formation of a hug-line. *S*

Superb work!!


vandana
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8 posted 2006-01-23 10:00 PM


good read
Aenimal
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9 posted 2006-01-24 12:17 PM


especially love that last verse..excellent write
miscellanea
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10 posted 2006-01-24 11:22 AM


Ed,

    Salt water can have a healing effect, just ask my tonsils!  Many times, gargling with a salt water solution has saved me the headache of doctor visits and medication.  Can't say that salt water therapy is pleasant, but it can cause good changes.

    I'm trying to figure out who you were initially trying to masquerade.  If it were not so eloquent and excellent, I'd say that the word play is a little like mine, as I love to dis   mantle words and plant parts here and there.   The tone is much more like a Gloom.   It is neither.  It has it's own individuality.  Awesome write, Ratleader.

Tell us!!!!

miscellanea

[This message has been edited by miscellanea (01-26-2006 03:32 AM).]

Dark Stranger
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11 posted 2006-01-24 11:47 AM


Edster..
funny what the ocean does to our ink
how it changes the tattoos we have in our pens to something else other than
what we imagined.

enjoyed this slice of scribble sir

Marge Tindal
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12 posted 2006-01-24 12:19 PM


Ed~
Yes ... what our Suthern said ... and more~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -   noles1@totcon.com

Ratleader
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13 posted 2006-01-24 12:20 PM


Hi, Misc -- I did think of you with that one line, but you're right, this started out to honor the Professor. If I'd finished it for him, I'd have worked it into rhyme, I think, since he does that fairly often.

So -- PG, your voice is a unique part of these forums, whether beautiful but sad, or sadly beautiful. You're one I've learned from here.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Professor Gloom
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of Depression
14 posted 2006-01-24 05:11 PM


Who solves things,
Is there none to help make undone,
Who can take the heroic tune and make song
That can reach everyone
Where lyrics wet the will and right the wrong,
Drench us and make us belong.

Let blues flow
In the banks of thanks giving
A river that washes away all pain
Revitalizing living,
Let it wash all if different or the same,
But cleanse not in pity’s name.

Who has time
To help pull them from the flow,
Rescue back the soaking and singing horde
With new life, new hope they know
Giving the solving and dissolving word;
Who resolves.

Maybe it will solve me at long last.

to ratleader
Gloom

miscellanea
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15 posted 2006-01-24 05:22 PM


Ah ha!  Impressive.  Very much enjoyed your poem and the poetic response from the Professor!  

miscellanea

Ratleader
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16 posted 2006-01-24 06:11 PM


Ah, that's what I mean by unique....beautiful stuff, PG!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

suthern
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Louisiana
17 posted 2006-01-25 04:48 PM


I'm so glad I came back to this thread! *S* There are times it pays to be forgetful... coming back to click it into my library gave me both a chance to read your wonderful work again... and enjoy the replies!!!
Earth Angel
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18 posted 2006-01-25 05:31 PM



Some believe that we came from the sea. Perhaps, like the rivers, we eventually return to the sea.

Your poetry is like baklava ~ multi-layered and each bite is delicious!

Not only did I enjoy your poem, I enjoyed the Professor's poetic response as well!


Linda

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (01-25-2006 06:57 PM).]

The Lady
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19 posted 2006-01-25 11:42 PM




Forceful work.

OwlSA
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Durban, South Africa
20 posted 2006-01-26 01:06 PM


I love the way you make words do exactly what you want them to!

- Owl

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