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Open Poetry #37
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iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA

0 posted 2006-01-12 06:40 PM


Lost in a crowd of people,
You’d never know me
there.
I’m just a quiet bystander.
You’ll never catch
my stare.
But, my eyes have seen
forever
back
and
forth
through time.
My heart has had its share
of bullets
and bleedings
compressed too soon to heal.

Time
again I see repeats,
repeats,
the lines the same, the players cheat.
A shame, to turn
a tempest into war.
Be warned.
Beware.
It’s rather like a nightmare there,
these dreams
and walks in fog,
tormenting scenes
in streams of clarity
and smog.

I walk in sands of time
across the human mind
and rhymes, sometimes (oh gods!).
I struggle with remains,
the ghosts, the pains
that haunt me in the night.
A price that I must pay
to keep clichés at bay
is free
verse.


[This message has been edited by iliana (01-13-2006 04:48 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 J.A.A.Powell - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2006-01-12 06:49 PM


A fantastic write jo..
I have a couple of members in mind who this could be,
but I'll wait and see what others say first.
Hugs~Nancy

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2006-01-12 07:01 PM


I believe it is Honeybunch! I really do!

What a lovely write! Just as she would have done!

Whomever it is, they are a terrific writer! lol ~ as are you!


Linda

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2006-01-12 07:11 PM


E.A., not telling until a few more take a stab at it.  Thanks for the very nice comment.  

Thanks, Nancy for your post, too.

jo

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2006-01-12 07:12 PM



I will be anxious to see who it may be, as well, and I have a feeling that the first guess may be correct.  I am amazed that others can step into the shoes of their admired poets so well!


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2006-01-12 07:16 PM


Karilea, hmmmmmm?  Thanks for reading.   ...jo
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2006-01-13 12:06 PM


not sure who it is, but fantastic writing regardless. nice work
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2006-01-13 12:18 PM


Raph, that made my day!  Thanks.   ...jo
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
8 posted 2006-01-13 01:56 AM


Hmmm?  Well, the content could apply to me but not the writing because this piece has "STYLE"!  Yes, this is a stylish write, dear Jo, and in that regard I say BRAVO!

Helen

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2006-01-13 02:03 AM


Yes, the content could apply to you, Helen, and actually, that is what makes this a little more difficult to guess.  So in a sense, it is you, but that is because you share similar thoughts with a few others here.  Thank you for that classy post, but Helen, dear friend, you have wonderful writing style!!!!  Aren't you going to take a guess, now?   ....jo
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2006-01-13 02:07 AM


All -- I fear I may not have captured my subject well enough.  Honeybunch is a close match but not close enough.  Style is secondary to the "feel," although I believe there are a few lines that provide clues (maybe not enough -- I came back and made quite a few changes)...maybe that will help.  Try again?

[This message has been edited by iliana (01-13-2006 04:25 AM).]

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
11 posted 2006-01-13 04:26 AM


Well, what about icebox?  Yeah - icebox!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2006-01-13 06:48 AM



Ok, so now I'm wearing my thinking cap.  
I am truly enjoying this poetic ponder!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2006-01-13 07:37 AM


reads like Karen to me....but i also see littlewing.

hmmmmm

can't wait to find out....

great work here Jo

Mxx

how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more
~Neruda~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

14 posted 2006-01-13 08:36 AM


this was incredibly enveloping...so much enjoyed

My heart has had its share
of bullets
and bleedings
compressed too soon to heal.


what a wonderful way to draw this emotion and pain...


littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
15 posted 2006-01-13 09:20 AM


Man, this sounds like Lauren to me . . . its beautiful, Jo.
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
16 posted 2006-01-13 11:35 AM


One of you is correct....but not telling yet...lol.  I will give you this -- there are two very strong hints within the poem.  One is almost blatant.  

Thank you all for your very thoughtful comments.  

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
17 posted 2006-01-13 02:25 PM


I'll have to hazard a guess at Icebox

A very nice write in any case, and the "honoree" should indeed be honored by it

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

18 posted 2006-01-13 02:29 PM


I'm gonna say icebox too.

and much enjoyed this, you.

It's fun to cross dress, ain't it?




Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
19 posted 2006-01-13 02:31 PM


Yep...it's definately icebox!!!  Well done!  
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
20 posted 2006-01-13 03:04 PM


You're correct, indeed, it is our special icebox!  

Thank you all for reading so closely!  This was a lot of fun!  

Karen...

..jo

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
21 posted 2006-01-13 05:12 PM


Damn, Jo, nice job, sorry I didn't catch that, when I go back, it is so clear:

My heart has had its share
of bullets
and bleedings
compressed too soon to heal.


I walk in sands of time
across the human mind
and rhymes, sometimes (oh gods!).
I struggle with remains,
the ghosts, the pains
that haunt me in the night.


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
22 posted 2006-01-13 05:41 PM


littlewing -- he's not an easy one to write either...lol.  Thanks a bunch!  
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
23 posted 2006-01-14 05:12 PM



No one has called me easy in years.  

I am flattered and without adequate words to thank you.

*smile*

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
24 posted 2006-01-14 05:42 PM


Mr. C., are your ears burning?  I'm on the phone with Serenity at the moment and we are laughing our behinds off.... we're both sending you a big hug & Karen says, "is this one about me too?"

It was my honor to even make an attempt.

[This message has been edited by iliana (01-14-2006 08:04 PM).]

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
25 posted 2006-01-21 09:33 PM


Just found this, Jo.  A neat read!  

misc

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
26 posted 2006-01-24 07:34 PM


hard to do..

i enjoyed it yes i did

with warm regards

joe

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
27 posted 2006-02-14 03:40 AM


Iliana,

I guess I'm not active enough on the site yet to get the entire gist of this poem, but it is well written, and walks through the mind can indeed stir up a few ghosts.

Thank you for welcoming me to the site.  I look forward to reading more of you poem.  

~ Karen ~

om
Junior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 31
ontario/canada
28 posted 2006-02-14 05:42 AM


Very nice mix! I likes it, I likes it a lot!
I can so identifly wit it  
Happy to read this
Edit: sorry, after reading comments,I didn't get that it was about any'one' in particular here, was thinking it could be the writer, or me, doah
man you people are good

poettothecars
Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093
New Zealand
29 posted 2006-02-14 07:24 PM


an interesting write, considering the number of responses. However I do feel the poem lost it toward the end and can be off putting, much to what the last few lines are really on about

detraction is thus subtraction


a poet who cares

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
30 posted 2006-02-14 07:30 PM


sheeshme, what an an outstanding attempt at capturing the uncapturable icebox
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
31 posted 2006-02-14 11:21 PM




Wonderful work Jo.



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