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Open Poetry #37
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Thin lines.
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Thin lines. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA 
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I knew you, when I liked you. Palm by palm, every line and feathered crease worn in with generalised licks of tongue I would sometimes look at my hands so as not to catch your eyes, with obligation. Those times, you would always say the same thing more than thrice - burying knives in me You were so helpful, I needn't hide the seethe when you were too drunk to read my face, even sober. Sometimes I shut off my ears. A skill I never managed to fine tune for birds-too-early and alarm bells, only you. The more I think, the more I wonder if it must have only been love and never like. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I would sometimes look at my hands so as not to catch your eyes, with obligation." I love the whole of this--but that right there made me sit up and wince with familiarity. yer awesome yanno |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Tis true..you really have to like someone if you are going to love them. Did that make sense? I understand all too well where you're coming from here Gemma. Excellent write. Hugs~Nancy In the midst of winter, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"The more I think, the more I wonder if it must have only been love and never like." ~ You certainly employed the perfect coups de gras with your closing lines! Far too many of us have wondered that very same thing! We fall in lust, then the blinders go on, and then we fall in love...  You are a marvellous poet, Gem Drop! Loveya! Linda |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
This must have been a very cathartic experience for you. I find the first line very interesting. At first, I thought that your first intention was the inversion ("I liked you, when I knew you", but now I am not so sure. I keep tasting the line as it is, and then its inversion and trying to sense the meaning of both and whether they mean the same thing, but possibly from a different angle (or not). The fact that you don't tell us what that same thing is that he always said when you looked at your hands - makes the reader curious and ponder, and I like that. I guess that he said something to the effect that you weren't showing/feeling interest in him or that he couldn't read what you were thinking. I think the reason why that would hurt you is that it was unfair because it was untrue. I love the title. You are very good at those - a silly thing to say, because you are very good at every infinitesimal part of all of your poems! This title seems to have multiple meanings - the lines on his face, and the thin line between lots of pairs of things, e.g. love and like. I know you have been busy lately, but I want to put in a complaint that I am sure that very many will support, that we have far too few gemjop poems on PIP. - Owl |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Your last lines are so strong, so utterly important, do you see this? Think of how many times you actually loved someone and despised them? I love this write. |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
I agree with serenity...those lines bring something familiar to the senses...You poetry is growing. I love it. I will continue to read more |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Gemma gal I wish I could say that I didn't personally know this one all to well...but I do and I truly do know that feeling of the thin line there between love and hate. Indeed, in order to love someone, you have to LIKE them too... your writing always amazes me Gemma.   seek the flame within yourself |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow! Awesome, just..awesome m xx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
I liked you when I knew you. how well you paint the difference between knowing,(lust) and knowing (relationship). The line about watching hands to avoid obligation struck a chord with me too. Good job with this. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
The more I think, the more I wonder if it must have only been love and never like. i was thinking this same thought a few days ago ... PeAcE ~J In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Very well done... nothing more to say that hasnt already been said .. chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
it seems to sway me and then flattens at the end. but does it always seem better |
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