navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #37 » I don't want you to read me speaking.
Open Poetry #37
Post A Reply Post New Topic I don't want you to read me speaking. Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2006-01-11 11:02 PM



I stared so long
I heard harmonic tremors
in the morning
where sunlight hadn’t yet clipped my curtains

the vandal it is

calm
of distinguished - burning pride
unspoilt by imminent blankets of ashes.

But no pioneer in me exists

I did not see you first
And I forgot to hide you


so I hold this sea sick hostage
by pouring breaths down the barrel
the only weapon I know

breathe breathe breathe

It is not my stomach
that bares
the pull
and fear of uprising

Deserter
burning reckless

Is all heart

and I am nowhere near
the cliff tops I have met
and known intimate and wide

So I can only dream
in tunnel vision
of my own sea envelopes
to scream over
every day

…Over,
by your side…

Words that are waiting
to be swallowed in eyefuls

don’t want you to read me speaking
they want you to see me.




© Copyright 2006 gj - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2006-01-11 11:39 PM


Gemma, I have to disaree with "But no pioneer in me exists"  -- I think you are a true pioneer in your creative expression!   ...jo

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2006-01-11 11:53 PM


i can't pretend to understand all the things you say when you write, but i love the way you say them. poise and grace, which is remarkable considering what an @ss you can be


Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

3 posted 2006-01-12 01:27 AM


This is another great one...
tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
4 posted 2006-01-12 01:48 AM


wonderful expression...I loved the flow of your write, a cascade of words....well penned.

~hugs~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



weepingwillow
Junior Member
since 2006-01-09
Posts 33
Sin City-Las Vegas
5 posted 2006-01-12 02:45 AM


Good write...
aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
6 posted 2006-01-12 02:53 AM


and I am nowhere near
the cliff tops I have met
and known intimate and wide

So I can only dream
in tunnel vision
of my own sea envelopes
to scream over
every day

…Over,
by your side…

Words that are waiting
to be swallowed in eyefuls

don’t want you to read me speaking
they want you to see me.

  
  
  `~i am so close to being speechless
creative write and with much vision gem
nice ~JW

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
7 posted 2006-01-12 03:01 AM


Gemma, you grow with every piece you write. Keep up the good work

and then He created the horse...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2006-01-12 09:58 AM


The beauty of how you write and what you write is beyond words.

But I did see a longing, a desire to look upon love in this and you did it perfectly.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2006-01-12 10:16 AM


dreams sometimes have a way of kicking us to our destination, even though we bulk and whine...hehe
always enjoy reading you, your trained eye and poetic heart...

p.s. your much farther along then you think, but, humbleness is also a very good stability.

Love to you

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
10 posted 2006-01-12 10:40 AM


Thankyou, your replies always mean a lot. each and every word.

This one is just a plain old frustrated write.

The opening part was reference to the anger that sometimes takes over after so much quiet and peace, a build up, volcanic. It came out of nowhere and i was in the most vile mood, from being completely relaxed. Harmonic tremors are 'continuous high frequency or low frequency tremors lasting five minutes or more. Harmonics are usually manifested during or immediately before violent eruptions.' - in relation to volcanoes.

Then to that sickness, physical and mental, where you feel like your organs are failing you, whilst youre doing your best.

I was sick of being read by the person i was speaking to, I want to speak to them and be seen and read in that way, face to face.

And hasn't anyone ever wished you could stand on a cliff and send 'sea envelopes' of the words you scream, and know they have a chance of actually arriving. free of charge. haha.

Reading myself, i seem to be having a breakdown! i'll stop now.

I hope you can now make more sense of what I've written.  

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2006-01-12 02:18 PM



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2006-01-12 02:31 PM


Excellent write Gemma!
Hugs~Nancy

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2006-01-12 03:10 PM


I, too, love what you write, whether I have understood it or not.  Having said that, I must admit that I enjoy the experience of reading your work even more when I have understood it, so I appreciate your explanation.  Thank you.  However, it was nice to have read it before the explanation (which I did).

One of the many things I enjoy about your work is the lyricism par excellence and your mastery of every word you use and the way you paint them all into swirls of exquisite imagery.  Another is that it is deeply introspective.  You seem to know yourself very well, which is extremely rare.  It takes immense courage to allow oneself to know oneself.  And the more you share your knowledge of yourself with us, the more we like and admire you.

This poem is one of the loveliest of yours that I have read - and that is saying a lllllot!

- Owl

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
14 posted 2006-01-13 05:24 PM


This stanza alone, Gem:

I am nowhere near
the cliff tops I have met
and known intimate and wide




serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2006-01-13 05:34 PM


I read this and read this and read this until...I could see you.

And you are lovely.

One more thing?

I thought I should let you know that I consider this some of the best advice on writing I have ever considered.

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
16 posted 2006-02-17 10:49 AM


excellent!  Love the way you write!  Will look for more of your writings

hugs, g

"We of the craft are all crazy...all are more or less touched."  Lord Byron

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #37 » I don't want you to read me speaking.

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary