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Open Poetry #37
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End Game
| Open Poetry #37 |
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End Game |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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*I'm not sure what this poem's about, apart from the obvious, I'm not even sure why it has no capitals but it seems to want to be like this. Perhaps it reflects poverty of war when there's not enough capital left to make it work.Still it has a nice rhythm  when warfare rips the hope of men aside and love is overwhelmed by hate in flow we practice in the art of genocide while masks are all we see and all we show we simply see, machines we have become for inside us is hidden from all eyes we measure by the rule of our own thumb so poverty is beauty in disguise we talk and talk and never say a word conversations fill the void, but then we vomit up the feast for beans and curd and never mind that we return to when confused in all we do and all we say we practice all deceptions in our soul while we ignore that winners have their way so we divide, we cannot be made whole as pawns we’re moved around to make this war until we see ourselves in someone’s face we do not know what we are fighting for and so our victory become disgrace the game is at an end and we are done the victory is hollow filled with ash no more we see the rising of the sun we’ve wasted beauty, all that’s left is trash Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2006 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is simply brilliant.... if only we could end it Lynne Beautiful out pouring of your heart it flowed beautiuflly, no bumps, no scratches.. if only life was like that eh? smile GREATBIGHUGS to you  Maree xx P.S this is a  how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Perhaps it reflects poverty of war even when there's plenty of capital left to make it "work". If only we could reach the civilisation of animals, there would never again be war. I enjoyed your poem Kethry. - Owl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
While I adore your humorous side as well, when you write with such intensity, I can only take a step back and let you pass me by. A force, you are, Kethry. (And please allow me to wish you belatedly, a happy new year.  )and as they say? write on!  |
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Kristabell Senior Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 678Portland, OR |
Yes, this has great rhythm. Nice write. Kristabell |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kethry A powerful write. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Well my lady. I know not where it came from but it commands respect and admiration. I can sense the power that this piece exudes.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Keth, I must agree with Serenity....when you write intensely, letting it all hang out, you are most assuredly a force to stand aside from and learn from. |
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Anne Shiever Junior Member
since 2006-01-10
Posts 21KS/USA |
I like the poem, even with the capitalization missing. It hits on some very important points. Anne |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Magnus and Karen both said what I feel. But I'll add, we must not allow ourselves to feel like there is nothing we can do. This is a great social commentary you've made! ....jo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Brilliant, intense... I shake my head in awe at you, lady... then lift my hands in applause. *S* |
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Angelheart Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754Jacksonville,FL USA |
very good write, thanks for sharing this piece, keep up the awesome poetry. Poetry can get you very far |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Beloved one, you know I was blown away by the power of this. As always you make a poem a powerful message, and it does have a beautiful rhyme. I'm feeling a bit better today, not great but able to sit and read and comment a little. Gray said that this poem was absolutely superb and he wishes he could have left a comment too. Truly one of your stunners darling one Mushy x x x x x   Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Perhaps the reason that there is neither capitalization nor punctuation, is that this truly was an impassioned flow from your heart and that the aforementioned would interrupt that flow!  ~ A powerful, impassioned, right write! EA |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
A very powerfully written poem. believe in what your heart feels... |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
This poem, to me,is near perfect in form and content..Being a peacenik helps me make that statement... All stanzas are well thought out and are profound in their own way... But these two jumped right off the paper... "when warfare rips the hope of men aside and love is overwhelmed by hate in flow we practice in the art of genocide while masks are all we see and all we show" "as pawns we’re moved around to make this war until we see ourselves in someone’s face we do not know what we are fighting for and so our victory become disgrace" You have a very good grip on reality, I wish more could see what you see and feel what you feel.. ________ ___ice ><> |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ 'the game is at an end and we are done the victory is hollow filled with ash no more we see the rising of the sun we’ve wasted beauty, all that’s left is trash' You have *gifted* us with the thoughts from a very talented writer~ AND this thought - quote:-is as brilliant as the content of the poem~  This is powerfully poignant, poetess~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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shades of paul Member
since 2005-12-14
Posts 370In Reality |
Loved the poem,a very good read....paul shades of peace,love,and happiness to you |
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