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Open Poetry #37
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weepingwillow
Junior Member
since 2006-01-09
Posts 33
Sin City-Las Vegas

0 posted 2006-01-09 10:24 PM



Intense

Your eyes see through me

Pools of caramel  

Scorch my skin without purpose

I look back, hazy visions

Your hair dark as coal,

Whispers softly around your face

Now,  

Collecting dust in the corners of my room

  
Manic words  

Snapping me to the present  

Fall useless out your soured lips

And leave me with an unfinished story

© Copyright 2006 Nakia - All Rights Reserved
Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

1 posted 2006-01-09 10:28 PM


Your hair dark as coal,

Whispers softly around your face

Now,  

Collecting dust in the corners of my room

Such powerfull images.. Great job!

Kristabell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 678
Portland, OR
2 posted 2006-01-09 10:31 PM


Your story never ends, even if some do not wish to see the pages...

Nice write,
Kristabell

weepingwillow
Junior Member
since 2006-01-09
Posts 33
Sin City-Las Vegas
3 posted 2006-01-09 11:01 PM


Thank you...
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
4 posted 2006-01-11 12:25 PM


nice writing

hugs, g

"We of the craft are all crazy...all are more or less touched."  Lord Byron

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
5 posted 2006-04-01 02:46 AM


I enjoyed this!

Neeraja

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
6 posted 2006-04-01 02:49 AM


Well done.

Very strong imagery, clear sharply drawn and concise.


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