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Open Poetry #37

Confused

weepingwillow
Junior Member

since 2006-01-09

Posts 33
Sin City-Las Vegas

0 posted 2006-01-09 10:24 PM

Intense

Your eyes see through me

Pools of caramel

Scorch my skin without purpose

I look back, hazy visions

Your hair dark as coal,

Whispers softly around your face

Now,

Collecting dust in the corners of my room


Manic words

Snapping me to the present

Fall useless out your soured lips

And leave me with an unfinished story

Dominique-Simone
Senior Member

since 2005-11-12

Posts 643

1 posted 2006-01-09 10:28 PM

Your hair dark as coal,

Whispers softly around your face

Now,

Collecting dust in the corners of my room

Such powerfull images.. Great job!

Kristabell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 678
Portland, OR

2 posted 2006-01-09 10:31 PM

Your story never ends, even if some do not wish to see the pages...

Nice write,
Kristabell

weepingwillow
Junior Member

since 2006-01-09

Posts 33
Sin City-Las Vegas

3 posted 2006-01-09 11:01 PM

Thank you...

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

4 posted 2006-01-11 12:25 PM

nice writing

hugs, g

"We of the craft are all crazy...all are more or less touched." Lord Byron

Neeraja
Senior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 812
The Netherlands

5 posted 2006-04-01 02:46 AM

I enjoyed this!

Neeraja

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

6 posted 2006-04-01 02:49 AM

Well done.

Very strong imagery, clear sharply drawn and concise.

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