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Open Poetry #37
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serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2006-01-08 07:35 PM


Today was silver
photographed

I walked into a negative

today I found a leaf
and I
launched it
in a gutterstream
whispering "goodbye"

and cried

as the sun denied a cloud

and I

looked into the sky
as if
someone was recording this

watching me in awe of it:

the covenant, again.

*  *  *




© Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
1 posted 2006-01-08 08:34 PM


niiice....  thanks for a lovely read

chris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions.  - ANON.



Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
2 posted 2006-01-08 08:49 PM



Given what is left in discussion...[the forum]

this has depth, soul, and an unforgiving pain
that some will just never understand.




Nightshade
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just out of reach
3 posted 2006-01-08 10:06 PM


~goodness gracious~
Bless you lady

Midnitesun
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Gaia
4 posted 2006-01-08 10:14 PM


this breathes
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
5 posted 2006-01-08 10:17 PM


..oh my..  
Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2006-01-08 10:48 PM


"and I

looked into the sky
as if
someone was recording this

watching me in awe of it:

the covenant, again."


I bet the gods have little cartoons of you stuck all over the place, just 'cause you make it so easy to smile, sometimes.  Thanks K...  


Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

7 posted 2006-01-09 12:21 PM


looked into the sky
as if
someone was recording this

watching me in awe of it:

the covenant, again.


Fascinating

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2006-01-09 01:38 AM


This has more meaning to me than I can express here.  Actually brought tears to my eyes.  Remind me to tell you sometime why.  Love ya, m'lady. jojo
garysgirl
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9 posted 2006-01-09 04:21 AM


Karen, this really spoke to me. Thank you.
Hugs,
Ethel

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
10 posted 2006-01-09 09:06 AM


Damn, I wish I had written this, this is different from you, I love it . . .

I walked into a negative

Take that one line.

Can you imagine actually doing that?

*shivers* and *happiness* at the same time.

All of these rebirths going on around here.

Karen?
  
This is really good . . . I wish it were mine.

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2006-01-09 01:06 PM


"I bet the gods have little cartoons of you stuck all over the place, just 'cause you make it so easy to smile, sometimes.  Thanks K..."

Dunc? After last summer, I pretty much figgered my face was on a Deified target somewhere.

and this one was written for two--first and foremost, my beloved city of New Orleans:

Genesis 9:12-13

"And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

“I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth."

and for my friend and mentor, Michael Mack, who has been so very instrumental in helping me find my own voice in writing while remaining steadfastly an ideal of what I hope to acheive both as a poet and a human being. He is a lovely soul and a gentleman.



thanks very much for reading

This one is kind of special to me.
  


Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
12 posted 2006-01-09 01:14 PM


beautiful k, i've never doubted whether they watched, it was whether they cared or did anything else. here's hoping they do. peace sis
weepingwillow
Junior Member
since 2006-01-09
Posts 33
Sin City-Las Vegas
13 posted 2006-01-09 11:12 PM


Beautiful...
JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2006-01-09 11:18 PM


Enjoyed....James
LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

15 posted 2006-01-10 08:53 AM


postively tremendous read...which gives me the idea that next time, instead of sending along happy face stickers to my grand-daughter, might split them up and send some to you to...   this gives me great joy lady...thank you for sharing.
Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
16 posted 2006-01-10 08:59 AM


a promise not to flood the earth again.

  I remember that lesson.

this is special.  Love you lady.

fk!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 2006-01-10 09:31 AM


Well, you can imagine how special it is to ME.

Thank you, Karen, for such a strong friendship you have shared with me over the years. I think the cement in any friendship is mutual admiration. I am the ideal of the poet you would like to be, you say,  and the fact is that I would give anything to be able to write like YOU. Your poetry is all you...your mind produces such fascinating thoughts and you pen them in a way that blows the mind with it uniqueness. If I have anything to do with that, buttons burst.

Could be the longest rainbow on record, stretching from N'awlins to Ft. Liquordale but it's there and, without a doubt, the pot of gold is on your end.

I will always wish you the very best...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

18 posted 2006-01-10 12:59 PM




We have a pot over here alright. And after being without one in crowley, I am damned grateful for it, too. (Too many here don't have a pot, if you know what I mean...)

I raise my coffee cup to you, m'friend.

and to all of you, with love.

lovin' my socks today I am...toes wriggling


OwlSA
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since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
19 posted 2006-01-10 02:34 PM


As I can't afford much time online (in South Africa it is very expensive if you have a Pay-As-You-Go phone), I saved your poem offline and wrote a reply to it before I read the responses, but now that I have read it, I can see that I am off-track with my interpretation, at least in part.  Anyway, I thought that you would be interested in how I saw it before I read your and Susan Caldwell's explanation, so here is my original response:

Whether I have understood this or not, I am basking, swimming, dancing in this water-colour kaleidoscope of mind-paintings smeared across a canvas wider than the sky. I love all of your poetry, but this is my favourite one of those that I have read, so far.  The way I interpret it, is that the rainbow is that wonderful feeling of deliverance after tears (the rain).  Silver is sad (and photographic) and photographs capture a moment.  Walking into a photograph is walking into a captured moment, but walking into a negative is walking into the essence of that moment.  Finding a leaf and launching it into the water flowing in a gutter is like re-capturing the core of one’s childhood.  Whispering goodbye and crying (whether about whispering goodbye to the leaf or because the sun denied a cloud) as well as the sun denying a cloud is fine-tuning one’s senses to quiver-point.  Feeling that someone is recording this, if this is a visual image (but perhaps it is an auditory one) is returning to the concept of the photogaph –photographing you inside the photograph’s negative that you walked into.  The awe is a reflection (photograph) of your own awe of nature around you.  Covenant means a promise – perhaps a promise that rainbows follow rain – and relief follows tears.  The again is the cycle of all things.

When I see there is a poem by Serenity Blaze, I know that I am going to be feasting on excellent fare.

- Owl

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2006-01-10 03:14 PM


Owl? I hope you know how honored I am. First there's the incomprehension that somebody halfway around the world actually pays to read my stuff.

Then I'm further astounded that you honor me by paying attention.

wow.

and I am not as confident as my alter-ego, "serenity blaze"'--so that rather blows my mind.

thank you


I'm humbled by your generosity.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
21 posted 2006-01-25 04:25 PM


Even before I read the responses, I felt New Orleans in this one...

felt...

belief

I agree... this is one of your best!

garysgirl
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Florida, USA
22 posted 2006-01-27 12:22 PM


SereneOne, I know I have already replied up there,
but I just wanted to tell you again how much I enjoyed
this poem. I do think it's one of my favorites of yours, too.

Karen, I really enjoy your poetry and I also enjoy the responses
you receive from your readers. You have a way of
getting the reader to try to REALLY grasp the meaning
of whatever subject you write about.

THANK YOU, Karen, for being you!!
Hugs,
Ethel

miscellanea
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since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
23 posted 2006-01-27 12:32 PM


so many great analogies and words chosen carefully so that one could contrast them with other images!  This one blew me away.  Very cleverly written, but of no surprise to me.  Your poetry is so artistic.

miscellanea

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
24 posted 2006-01-27 04:54 PM


Once again, you blow us all away. And as Gary's girl said,  the responses to your writing are jewels in themselves. But you my dear, are the cream on the TOP. sincerely martyjo
Katerie
Member
since 2006-01-27
Posts 92
Central New York
25 posted 2006-01-27 05:20 PM


Very nice.  The spacing on the lines tripped me up a little, but that was nothing to change, as stanzas are as free-range as one wishes for them to be.  I love it.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

26 posted 2006-01-27 05:33 PM


Hugging Ethel tight--and a warm welcome to Katerie--as I do so appreciate critique.

Thanks to all, and warmest welcome Katerie.

and sometimes I trip myself up on my own spacing. Seriously, it's something I'm working on, so your mention of it was much appreciated.

Fee
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 381
Melbourne, Australia
27 posted 2006-01-27 06:56 PM


You always leave me wanting to read more and you teach so much in your style.

Another beautiful write.

Hugs, Fee

Expressions,
are the most important aspects, they create impressions

0'.".'0  Just
((T))    Thinking
(..)(..) Of you
(```)_(```)

jody5
Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876
California, U.S.A.
28 posted 2006-01-27 07:17 PM


Absolutely glorious poetry.  I love your poems I think the same things sometimes.  Huggs Kim


Allysa
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In an upside-down garden
29 posted 2006-04-13 06:20 PM


This one left me with my mouth open.

Literally.

I love your pauses, the feeling in your words.

(ps. I am kind of sort of making something for you. Maybe.)

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
30 posted 2006-04-13 08:01 PM


Serenity, I NEVER have words for your poetry.  It moves me in so many ways, I can't define it.  Words are extremely hard for me.   Perhaps, since I think you know my need for water, I'll just say, "Bubblebath," hoping that gives you some indication of how it has affected me.  You pack such a light, but powerful load in every word you choose! Each word positioned perfectly, igniting the next.  I admire your dedication to your art form and self-expression.  

misc'e    

Paul Wilson
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United States
31 posted 2006-04-13 10:26 PM


Serenity...My first thoughts are that you have made that covenant of which you write and are coming to terms with this past year and you are determined to change that which you can and accept that which you can't change. The sun will shine on you and our beloved city once again...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Ceinwyn
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since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
32 posted 2006-04-13 10:28 PM


I see this in black and white then I see colour peaking through...still frame in my mind....but will be moving with life soon...



If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
33 posted 2006-04-13 11:17 PM



When you write of New Orleans you stop me in my tracks. I am stopped and grateful. The feeling is incredible.


luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

34 posted 2006-04-14 11:09 AM


oh my....what a feeling this expresses...I would put my comment in grayscale if it weren't so html hard....sigh
you are such a writer lady...I have read many poems that give words to a painting, but I have never read one that is the inverse....

Lady In White
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35 posted 2006-04-14 11:30 AM



It's always good to see the rainbow
of you
on the rise again...


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

36 posted 2006-04-14 11:54 AM


K this makes me happy, and sad at the same time.  Sad, for the tragedy,
and very glad, that you can still see the rainbow through the haze.  
lady....

yer very special, yanno?  

seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love.  Axel Ekenstierna

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

37 posted 2006-04-14 07:10 PM


I read these very generous and loving replies and I could just cry.

thank you all so very much

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