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Open Poetry #36
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2005-12-27 07:24 PM


Under skirts of palms
my ears are full of the river
and the sound the ground breeze makes
combing the tall grasses

Looking under her skirt I see dancing
everything vibrates to her hark
the river the river a song
her skirt in sing a long
especially the rock
rising falling    calling rhyme
I hear it now distribute time

Gasping with bubbles
it percolates and rustles
as a woodpecker drums approval
leaded eyes cast into the depth of me
as I plead insanity

Under the cracked dirt
a river runs with weaving moss
the hungry mouths of babies
chase and gather found the squirm
I can hear them glee
that they have found a really worm

Singing lips so be it kind
I apologize
to the mother’s silver side
and the yellow blood of worms

-------

© Copyright 2005 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
ice
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since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2005-12-27 08:51 PM


Martie
A beautiful poem, as pretty as your picture....full of light and shadows..
Which is mysterious, yet understandable.

Love the way the words play their part
in weaving the rivers gurggles into song,
Love how it guided your pen...

_____________ice
    ><>

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2005-12-28 12:01 PM


Well heck I am about as "gleed" as those baby fish!  I am always curious how long it takes you to write a poem such as this Martie, but know one thing, you were born to write. Lovely as usual, and saved, along with the new picture that I must say becomes you m'friend.

Carpe' Diem

Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2005-12-28 01:04 AM


Sometimes a poem of yours is a sensual delight, sometimes an esoteric delight....but always a delight.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Honeybunch
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since 2001-12-29
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South Africa
4 posted 2005-12-28 02:24 AM


And the river runs with Martie's words so gracefully beautiful.  Yes, there are writers and then there is me.  
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2005-12-28 03:47 AM


Never apologize, never explain.



(I think that was from a Clint Eastwood movie or somethin'--I dunno.)

"....the river the river a song
her skirt in sing a long..."

That is sexy stuff, missus.

winking at you

UH OH



giggles and hugs

you are lovely in bubbles


Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
6 posted 2005-12-28 04:01 AM


wow...

This is a fantastic bit of art. Keeper.

ethome
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since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2005-12-28 05:44 AM


Hummm Martie, a work of beauty once again surfaces from your poetic coceptions of life.

Loved it!

Eric

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
8 posted 2005-12-28 08:26 AM



Ah Sissie...

Your muse has returned,
with artillery...

mark this as one of those
that should be placed first
when you put together
that Book of Martie...




Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2005-12-28 09:41 AM


"sound the ground breeze makes
combing the tall grasses"

and I hear it...

You seduce with words.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

suthern
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Louisiana
10 posted 2005-12-28 09:55 AM


It's good to see your pen flowing again... I knew from the title that this would be magical. *S*
Midnitesun
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Gaia
11 posted 2005-12-28 02:50 PM


oh, Martie!
I do love the sounds and sights in this one. Am keeping this treasure.

bgj
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since 2005-11-09
Posts 128
Ga. USA
12 posted 2005-12-28 03:36 PM


Enjoyed this. Great write. Lots of luck,
bgj

icebox
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since 2003-05-03
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in the shadows
13 posted 2005-12-28 06:21 PM


Again, you made me smile.

Thanks!

miscellanea
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since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
14 posted 2005-12-28 10:25 PM


I've erased about four times already.  I just can't seem to put in words how your poem has affected me.  Its beauty causes  splendor, yet there's a shadow of sadness, but it is the splendor that remains.  Again, I am in awe of your creative thinking and skillful writing.  

Very much enjoyed reading!

Wishing you the best in the upcoming new year!

miscellanea

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

15 posted 2005-12-29 02:57 PM


Ahhh Martie, this made me sigh and coo all the same time...WOW!

So sensually soft, i felt that slight breeze that danced around you on tippy toes

straight into my library...for safe keeping



m xx

how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more
~Neruda~

Dark Stranger
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since 2001-03-19
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West Coast
16 posted 2005-12-29 06:04 PM


and you little neighbor know of my fondness of rivers...this was enjoyable to read

Earth Angel
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Realms of Light
17 posted 2005-12-29 06:30 PM


Martie, your words sing and dance and twirl around! A beautiful piece of writing.

Your new photo is very dark on my monitor so I copied it to my computer and fiddled with it so that I could see it. I like how you blend in with the trees ~ even your dress! Very artistic and natural! Love it!

May the coming year be full of Light and joy for you and your family!


Linda


The Lady
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since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
18 posted 2005-12-29 11:20 PM




A truly hypnotic poem Martie. Made me want to sing wih hapiness.

"the river the river a song
her skirt in sing a long
especially the rock
rising falling    calling rhyme"

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
19 posted 2005-12-31 09:10 PM



I'm always thanking God for being so generous and bringing friends like you into my life

happy new year Martie
best friends best finds, dale

Speaking of ghosts, wouldn't you know here comes mine again...
~Rosemary J. Gwaltney~


Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

20 posted 2006-01-01 03:53 PM


Under skirts of palms
my ears are full of the river
and the sound the ground breeze makes
combing the tall grasses

Looking under her skirt I see dancing
everything vibrates to her hark
the river the river a song
her skirt in sing a long
especially the rock
rising falling    calling rhyme
I hear it now distribute time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ya had me from the first lines of this imagery rich gem.
Happy New Year Martie.

Thru the water...thru the rain
To the soul of everything
Throw my heart out on the stones
And I'm almost gone

D.Gray

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

21 posted 2006-01-07 09:35 PM


Hey Martie...bravo. This is simply a wonderful write. It just ripples right along. I enjoyed the read very much...but then could I really expect anything less of such a great writer?
Magnus
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22 posted 2006-01-07 09:47 PM


OK,  I have my fishing pole,  put the sunscreen on...and have a box of worms,
squirming little devils....Now what?
You will have to lead the way...

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
23 posted 2006-01-07 10:26 PM


OhDearSister~
How I'd LOVE to sit the banks of the water with you ... we could throw out a line and maybe catch a poetic fishie or two~

This is beautifully serene, my friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email -           noles1@totcon.com     

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
24 posted 2006-01-08 12:38 PM


Martie, I always find your poem UNIQUELY beautiful.  This is an amazing piece.   ...jo
Brian James
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since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg
25 posted 2006-01-09 03:09 PM


I've been trying to figure out exactly what's natural about metered verse.  Wordsworth called it "the natural language of man in a state of excitement," but it's been recently dismissed as drudgery and meaningless hard-work that doesn't do anything but stifle the creative genius.

But the way you've always used rhythm, it goes hand-in-hand with your subject matter, and I can actually believe that you're starting to sing because you are inspired, instead of just making a formal decision in the act of writing.  This poem, especially, flows with such a natural rhythm and cadence... I'm jealous of you.

As always, your natural mystical mode of understanding allows you to discover the natural harmony of man and nature---under the skirts of palms there are the sounds of rivers and breezes ("ground breezes" is a delightfully original Martie-ism), but under the skirts of the girl you are watching there is dancing, rhythm, rhyme, song, all human institutions (but human names for our connection with nature).

Another thing I've always loved about you is your willingness to acknowledge the limitations of your understanding.  "As I plead insanity" does this very well, as you're confronted with the incomprehensible vastness of the natural imagery.  The strength of your encounter is powerfully conveyed...

The ending is confusing, though.  Or maybe I should say, I'm confused by it.  Are you apologizing for your song?  Why the startling image of the "yellow blood of worms?"  Is this supposed to represent another difficulty of interpretation on your behalf, or am I missing something?

Either way, powerfully evocative work.  I may not get to see any of the things you describe ever in my life, but you've given me enough images to construct a pretty good portrait for myself.  This is lovely writing.

Always a joy.

Brian

"To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form."
~Robert Frost

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
26 posted 2006-01-09 03:15 PM


Brian....Thank you as always for your in depth critique.  You always make me feel so talented, when I'm really not.  No, I don't plan the rhythm, it just comes out that way.

As for the ending...well, I was fishing...and I fish all the time, but I never noticed before that worms have yellow blood.  So, I was apologizing to the worms for using them that way...and to the baby fish (there were lots!) for wanting to catch there elders.  You're right though..it is hard to understand.  

Martie
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Posts 28049
California
27 posted 2006-01-09 03:59 PM


I'm sorry...me bad!!  Thank you everyone who replied to this poem.  I appreciate it.
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