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Open Poetry #36
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aujussy wolf
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0 posted 2005-12-17 02:15 AM




the cold settles around my breath
a pure white in the night air
frozen memory's seem to pass through time again
when we met eleven years ago
how they brought a thousand tears
in the end to us both  
my deepest loss
when i remember the last day i saw you
before you left , how could i have been so cold
my pain only grew in the dark roads that followed
my life was upside down the things i cared for were no longer there
and empty was i inside
like a cardboard box in  an alley  
with a bum attitude lost in a maze of abuse  
my temple was crumbling
until one full moon when my old dearest friend called me to his bliss abode
and then we set out on a midnight journey through the hills on a full wolf moon
...it glowed a magic
unlike i have ever witnessed in my life
and as i looked at the light of this massive orbiting globe it changed my path
then i knew i had to put down the swords i had been slashing into my energy and destiny with ...
so close to the edge
i was to the depths of mordor,the shadow lands
and it was time to throw in the ring
for all eternity ...
and with a little help from my friends
the temple has been resurrected
and the blackness of death turned to the light of love and life
there and back again as once said
by a wise man ....
and now years later still
i write about being lost and found ...
and how after five years my heart is still aching with those times
of me and her on the beach
when we walked on the shore
and took a seat on a high dune
to watch the fall of the days empire
talked of how it would be if wishes could come true
and how you wanted to swim to the setting sun and we laughed into the dusk of that day ....
how the magic was all around us
like firefly's in the night
you were worth more than all the riches in the world ....and more so now  
seeing your picture tonight took me back to the old home place of my dreams, it had been so long
as you will always be the one who i miss more than words could ever describe
that first party when we all went out to the woods and we had to go home early
you had a midnight curfew
we talked that night in my room
till the early morning about our friends who had just passed away , and how we
would always miss them with all our hearts
and of your nightmares and how i tried to help
with calm words
i sit now and write of how i have drifted away  without your voice
and the the warmth you brought to this ice covered old heart of mine
so i look up in the sky tonight and pick the furthest away star i can see
and i make a wish upon it
with the moon i send you my everything
forever yours
my sweet sunshine through the clouds
      
          
JDW III 12-17-2005

[This message has been edited by aujussy wolf (12-19-2005 01:42 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 James D Wolf III - All Rights Reserved
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2005-12-17 03:36 AM


Sometimes that emotional outpouring can help...I am touched by your love for this person and hope you find that in your life again.  
OwlSA
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since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
2 posted 2005-12-17 05:05 AM


Human happiness can be imbued with so much sadness.  Even though things are not what you both want/ed, she is a very, very lucky woman to have been bathed in such love, and you are so gifted and so honourable to feel and express it in the way that you do.  I wish you happiness beyond comprehension, but I think you have that already.  What I really mean is a happiness of that magnitude, but without the sadness.

- Owl

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2005-12-17 10:44 AM


James?



I know these ghosts so very well myself and even though sometimes I wish them away I think if I truly did,
for good, I would lose entire chunks of myself.

This was a beautiful peek at your soul.

and here:  

when i remember the last day i saw you
before you left , how could i have been so cold


I wonder, too, how in times, I was so blinded by my own ego.

Much Love to you, my friend.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2005-12-17 11:35 AM


Your beautiful soul is showing through your words.

This?

"when i remember the last day i saw you
before you left , how could i have been so cold"

I think we have all looked back on something in our pasts that we wish we had done differently.  

This is beautiful James, so good to see another post from you.
Beautiful scribe.
Peace babe.
~D~

seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love.  Axel Ekenstierna

majnu
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since 2002-10-13
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SF Bay Area
5 posted 2005-12-17 12:30 PM


very nice

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2005-12-17 12:34 PM


how the magic was all around us
like firefly's in the night
you were worth more than all the riches in the world ....and more so now  

~*~

Words like this remind us...
that it is never too late
to let someone know you cared...

they will find a way to listen...


Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2005-12-17 01:25 PM


James~
Adoring the memories, the instant recall,
keeps those memories alive ...

'now years later still
i write about being lost and found ...
and how after five years my heart is still aching with those times'


... and yes, it often keeps the ache alive too~

Poignant penning, dear poet~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email -         noles1@totcon.com       

aujussy wolf
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8 posted 2005-12-17 10:39 PM


this was a tough one to write and then to
post it also , well the girl i wrote about in this poem, we had a relationship for quite a few years , we met when i just turned 17 she was visiting her mother who lived in hawaii ,she had not seen her in many years being her dad had custody of her when she was a kid, OK now her parents went to school with mine that's where i fit into the story , so when she was visiting them here in Michigan we had the chance to meet , we had chilled together as little baby's but who remembers that far back ( 4 and 5 years old we were)....so we had a chance to meet again while she was visiting family of hers  downstate ,she stayed at my parents for a night while they were in town , now i was dreading meeting her and having to show her around for the night , i was a little stuck up in a way back then , not like a rich stuck up but different , anyways my grumpy butt finally agreed to hang out with her for the day...her mom dropped her with me and away we went, we had more in common than i had ever imagined , her best friend had just died and my cousin who was like a brother to me( we were the same age )  had just passed away strangely in the same year , so we were both super depressed , so after a while we really had some great talks and let out what was like a flood of emotions for us both,..that night we went out to a outside little party thing and ( didn't drink i swear i was a good kid or at least that night lol )  she met my friends and it was cool  ..and whatnot , but she had strict orders to be back to my parents by 12 midnight , so my friend drove me and her back to home , well we sat up till 3 am that night talking about our lives and friends it was great , but the sad part was she had to leave the next day , so she did and on her departure she gave me a 3 page letter,i shed some tears we stayed in touch and the story goes much deeper but i wont bore your with endless details of my life , only time will tell the end to this sad love story .....

and to all the replies it means the world over to me thanks so much for the help , love and light to all < james

[This message has been edited by aujussy wolf (12-18-2005 03:22 PM).]

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
9 posted 2005-12-18 02:41 AM


aujussy wolf, I don't see my reply to this poem, and I think what happened is that my phone voucher ran out while I was replying.  Perhaps I don't see it because my replies sometimes take a long time to show.  If it went in and I am duplicating a reply, please forgive me.  My response (before your explanation) was with regard to the poem and you and her only.  Your poem is quiver-beautiful and very sensitive.  It takes great courage to expose yourself so (that even before your explanation, but all the more so to include it - bravo, brave man), but fortunately, so safe to do so in the haven of this wonderful forum.  I am so glad you have that memory to hang on to when you need it, and so real a memory - so obviously not imagined.  I am so glad she has that memory too, even if she has moved on.

I wish you strength, courage, determination and happiness.  Wallow in the love you have from your family, your real friends (not the greasy ones) and the people who love you in this forum - and let us all keep you from slipping ever again - and if let us help you come back into the light.

There are so many beautiful inspirational poems on this board - too many to mention all - but may I suggest two to read - I can't remember whether I saw a reply from you on them and I can't spend too much time online to go and check.  Please read Earth Angel's "ALL there is to BE" and "Weight of Worth" of Gentle Spirit (and its links to anothers of hers and one of littlewing's).  They will, i am sure, bring you warmth and encouragement.

- Owl

MGROVES
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california
10 posted 2005-12-18 03:46 AM


My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2005-12-18 04:21 AM


James~
First of all thanks~

This is quite the poem AND the response from you reveals much about your life and defines an example of how someone CAN turn their life around~

As for your loving thoughts and memories of Anna ...

"i think she has moved on now but still in my heart i hold the world for her"

... keep them as they are an important part of who you are and why you are ... who you are~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email -         noles1@totcon.com       

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2005-12-18 07:22 AM


so i look up in the sky tonight and pick the furthest away star i can see
and i make a wish upon it
with the moon i send you my everything
forever yours
my sweet sunshine through the clouds
      


lovely~~

M

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2005-12-19 02:12 PM


ah James, I just read your explanation to this.  Heart hugs to you sweetie.
peace n' hugs.
~D~

seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love.  Axel Ekenstierna

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
14 posted 2005-12-19 02:23 PM


Wolfie?

C'mere....

Nightshade
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just out of reach
15 posted 2005-12-19 02:28 PM



Midnitesun
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Gaia
16 posted 2005-12-19 04:19 PM


talk about tender
a heart beat heard
loud and clear
and hoping your anna
hears it too
through the clouds

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2005-12-19 05:28 PM


I hear you Wolfie, from across the oceans, heart

m xx

how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more
~Neruda~

Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
18 posted 2005-12-19 06:37 PM


AW...

See what your words have inspired
amoung your poetic peers?

You should be very...

pleased...

because you've touched so many, so well,
from your heartstrings
outward...

we are all listening to this beautiful song.




Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
19 posted 2005-12-20 09:37 PM


this aches, love and life sometimes make no sense. I'm trying to comprehend events in life. It's hard to keep sane but writing them out is healthy or atleast thats what I think. That's what I've been doing. I do believe even though cliche things end up well in the end eventually. I try to keep on telling myself that.

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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