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Open Poetry #36
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RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424


0 posted 2005-11-11 01:53 PM


Thoughts While Staring at the Deck

Autumn, with its promiscuous weather,
leaves the deck both light and dark.
The dry part under the eaves
resembles a man's hands,
not those of an office worker,
but calloused, as if familiar with slaving in fields.
Curiously, the stained wood seems at liberty,
here it sheens, there it smoothes
as when a dark woman allows her slip
to pool upon the carpet.
The rain does things. It changes moods.
As I sit rocking indoors
I think about the puddles and how they fill the eyes.

RMW



© Copyright 2005 RMW - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2005-11-11 02:15 PM


You have a great imagination, Bob...what happens when the wet and dry come together?  Maybe lightning!
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
2 posted 2005-11-11 02:57 PM


OH, that dark woman and her slip pooling on the floor! Evocative image.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2005-11-11 07:23 PM


whoohoo, but I love this, a dramatic black and white portrait.....done in palette knife to intensify and highlight those puddles on stained wood....
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2005-11-11 09:51 PM


"The rain does things. It changes moods.
As I sit rocking indoors
I think about the puddles and how they fill the eyes."

Love it...absolutely love it!!!!!!!
Hugs~Nancy

Now - while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again...and again...

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
5 posted 2005-11-11 10:12 PM


I enjoyed this, rather unusual poem. Very vivid and imaginative. Never woulda thought...
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2005-11-11 11:40 PM


Much enjoyed the analogies and great writing here, RMW.  
PoetessFlamme
Junior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 20
France
7 posted 2005-11-12 06:26 AM


You have a way with words, great talent!
Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

8 posted 2005-11-12 10:03 AM


Excellent!!! My favorite lines that brings this poem together are

Autumn, with its promiscuous weather,
leaves the deck both light and dark.
The dry part under the eaves
resembles a man's hands,
not those of an office worker,
but calloused, as if familiar with slaving in fields

Great Visuals...


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