navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » he dreads the colors
Open Poetry #36
Post A Reply Post New Topic he dreads the colors Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2005-11-05 08:39 PM


He gets depressed
he says,
in their slow motion
suicide,

an avalanche of red;

and prancing ponies
when trapped by music
along the carosel ride,

he winces
at the falling colors,
and says it wakes the ache
between, his sometimes
hardened eyes,

he's fine in time,
as the last remaining
hit the high notes,
then play for dead again
and wait the morrow,
when leaves and ponies
round the corner
beyond the ticking
waltz of time.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (11-06-2005 11:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2005-11-05 10:13 PM


Oh, to see them, is pain
All the pretty horses hobbled-
Leaves now scratching ground, them
Playing aching music that is
Trapped inside his brain...
But
Vowing to remain, allows him space
And time to mourn:
Holding on to what was seen (now gone)
He thinks ahead to spring.


You have written a complex poem, I like these sometimes...they make me think, and even if I guess wrong on the poets meaning, they take me to another place, away from normal...I also like that.....

-----------ice
   ><>

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
2 posted 2005-11-05 11:33 PM



Autumn

The leaves are falling, falling as if from far off,
as if in the heavens distant gardens withered;
they fall with gestures that say “no.”

And in the nights the heavy earth falls
from all the stars into aloneness.

We are all falling.  This hand is falling.
And look at the others: it is in them all.

And yet there is One who holds this falling
with infinite softness in his hands.


Rainer Maria Rilke


inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2005-11-06 11:29 AM


thank you gentlemen for taking time to leaf
through my thoughts.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2005-11-06 12:31 PM


I loved it Michelle!  I am not sure either of the poems intent, but I saw a red maple tree - go figure?  In any event, the images were wonderful even if I got it wrong, who cares, you write for yourself first, and what we take from it is ours.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2005-11-06 01:14 PM


Another excellent write Michele...
I believe each reader takes away something
of their own when they read you.
And that can be and is a good thing.
Hugs~Nancy

Now - while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again...and again...

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2005-11-07 06:33 PM


quote:
... beyond the ticking
waltz of time.



We associate the wonderful autumn colors to death and the ache can be burning.

You say it as usually in a most beautiful, original way.

Love,
Margherita

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2005-11-07 09:36 PM


Michele, I like this one very much because it allows me to make my own meaning from it.  Very much enjoyed!   ....jo
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » he dreads the colors

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary