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Open Poetry #36
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babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City

0 posted 2005-11-01 09:23 PM


the bare syllables of your name
bear the softest vowels of rain,

like wayward cells, split
in their cerulean elements,
on my tongue

so envelop the brain stems,
in their crazed atoms, skim
the hem of our darkened gardens,

all clay, as my legs,
once limber, forget
their will to be ever
unfolding, and I am,
in this long trembling,

so recklessly weaned from oblivion
along the truant pathways of the body,

you enter this longing, and spill
along the arched trellis of the spine,
like a river sinking deeply into the earth,

and in the consummate gesture of faith,
I bring the ruin of parched lips
to the cradlesong depths
of November’s fiery evening,

and in the same breath, your mouth
descends, a river’s devouring, pinks
the onset of rapture in couplets,

the bare syllables of your name
bear the softest vowels of rain,

against glass panes,
keeping the drought in,
our frail dream-catchers spin,
oblivious in their neurons,
as the rain stings, and sings
its lament among the fire-eaten meadow,

whose deepest roots
harvest a red wilderness of ash.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
2005 © Mari Laureano
babygirLPress


**Intoxicant to the SouL**

[This message has been edited by babygirlwlove (11-02-2005 08:36 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 babygirLPress - All Rights Reserved
aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
1 posted 2005-11-01 09:39 PM


made me want to cry
this poem went deep babyg~
i am in awe
.... but somehow,
i still manage to give out a BiG
HOWWWWLL.....
so much love ,
~wolfie

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2005-11-02 06:34 AM


Excellent poetry...enjoyed....

-----------ice
    ><>

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2005-11-02 08:49 AM


Whoa!!!!!!!

yanno, that painting the Swing?  Well, girl, this was the entire oppposite of that painting, and, by the way, well orchastrated through your words...marvelous depiction, tremendous visuals....every word touched my senses, drifting deep down into the soul...this was outstanding and one of my favorites of yours....

all I can say is...this, my dear poetess, should be published!!!!!!

Guess you can sorta tell, I liked this a lot!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2005-11-02 08:55 AM


ms bbg..
unfolded fingers
with water slipping between
and then there is your heart
and I know how you hate flowers

n-joyed you lil one

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
5 posted 2005-11-02 10:54 AM


wolfie~

if a panther could howwwwl...lol..it would...right back atcha'  lol..thanks for the hit, love~


~baby

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
6 posted 2005-11-02 10:55 AM


ice~so many thanks for the kind review~

~babygirL

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
7 posted 2005-11-02 10:56 AM


LeeJ~

thank you, my friend for always looking out for me~I am so pleased you enjoyed this one so much~

~babygirL

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

P.S.  I don't know which Swing-painting you mean...you'll have to show me~

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
8 posted 2005-11-02 10:58 AM


DS~

lol...thank you for the eyes here, my friend~

~babygirL

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2005-11-02 03:18 PM


along the arched trellis of the spine,
like a river sinking deeply into the earth,

and in the consummate gesture of faith,
I bring the ruin of parched lips
to the cradlesong depths
of November’s fiery evening,

and in the same breath, your mouth
descends, a river’s devouring, pinks
the onset of rapture in couplets,

the bare syllables of your name
bear the softest vowels of rain,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After just reading the Capts offering...this reads like a lovely raindance repose..
as always your grasp of imagery and vocabulary impress

along the arched trellis of the spine

how cool is that image and personifi


I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out ...
But I want you to remember my name

Alanis

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2005-11-03 12:09 PM


~smiling at this gorgeous write, and wishing I could write like this~
oh, la poesie

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2005-11-03 12:13 PM


"you enter this longing, and spill
along the arched trellis of the spine,
like a river sinking deeply into the earth,

and in the consummate gesture of faith,
I bring the ruin of parched lips
to the cradlesong depths
of November’s fiery evening,"


you completely took my breath away with this! wow....

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
12 posted 2005-11-03 12:37 PM


JM~
midnitesun~
&
SEA~

thank you all for taking a look inward...

much love,
~babygirL

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

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