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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2005-10-28 10:39 AM

Hunger

Gnats
Rats
Spiders

Mosquitoes

Heat
Snakes
Malarial fevers

In the long time after
When this is all over
What will we remember—

Sunset
Over water

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-10-28 04:16 PM

Now this...y'see, I have this memory that makes me wish I could write like this.

Waking the morning of Rita, the rice field flooded, complete with white caps--one of those long arm bands of wind and rain had just passed, and there was a glorious sun dawning, reflecting on the choppy waters that owned the field where the rice had been growing.

The reflections of it looked like I was thisclose to the surface of the sun.

I'll never be able to convey that properly, but I believe YOU could.

Angelheart
Senior Member

since 2005-09-08

Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA

2 posted 2005-10-28 04:20 PM

some of these that you named just creeps me out and scares me, nice write here tho, thanks for sharing.

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2005-10-28 04:26 PM

John

I hope it is within human nature to remember the good easier then the bad. I really liked your poem because it points that out. Thank you!!

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

4 posted 2005-10-28 04:53 PM

Well done.

Amidst the change, turmoil and suffering,
there is fixed constancy, beauty,
and the premise of a new dawn.

CG

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

5 posted 2005-10-28 06:32 PM

I really like this.Well done.

Jason

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

6 posted 2005-10-28 06:54 PM

Well said and, yes, I think we're all inclined to remember the good things rather than the bad.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

7 posted 2007-04-22 11:34 PM

if one is still alive.

what a cold truth.

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